l'etre pour Autrui

di talaga kita susulatan ng tula!

2009-03-04T20:00:00.000+08:00

takot akong matapos
ang tula sa bawat
pahiwatig ng pagdating
ng tuldok na magpapahinto
maski nung mga
di pa nasisimulan
kapalit nito ay ang
kuwit na nagdudugtong at
mga tandang pananong
na nagpapahaba ng
maiikling pagkakataon
pababayaan kong
umusad ang mga titik
umandar ang salita
at magpatuloy ang mga talata
upang magkaniig pa rin tayo sa
paghahabi ng isang
magandang kwentong ayoko
pang alamin ang katapusan

nosebleed pala ha!

2009-02-10T16:25:00.000+08:00

pinagkaguluhan ito kanina sa arts and letters faculty room

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20090202-186921/Drowned-in-mystery-and-other-boo-boos

‘Drowned in mystery’ and other boo-boos'
By Antonio Calipjo Go
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 05:32:00 02/02/2009

Filed Under: Education, Books

MANILA, Philippines—The following are among the more than 500 items of a similar nature that may be found in the just-released public school textbook (copyright 2008) in Reading for Grade 6 titled “English For You and Me,” written by Elodie A. Cada, published by Book Wise Publishing House Inc., and printed in Bangkok, Thailand:

• The airport is open to passengers only.

• Humans may turn blue when they cry.

• The engine of the tractor is sleeping now.

• Ms. Vera, please entertain this computer.

• Vietnam Nurse Contacts Bird Flu.

• To Heal Earth Yourself, Start with Your Cat.

• She lives in a place that is drowned in mystery.

• I got a butterfly with flower-designed wings.

• The Doña Aurora tree had yellowish-white flowers which were as wide as an open hand, and smelled fragrant as her mother’s perfume.

• Can we take care of the bird at home? Just like in a rehabilitation center!

• These pants didn’t cost much because they are uneven.

• Comfortable means having the comfort.

• The cat’s whiskers make it different from other animals.

• I trust you so much. I even told you not to enter my room.

• Propped: it stuck and supported very well.

• Delicately: done with fragility.

• Propped: sticked.

• They were discussing what will happen if the moon bounced back to the earth.

• Heroes helped in the forming of our nation.

Tausugs, Badjaos

• The Tausugs, who live in Jolo, are described as warlike people but most are friendly, peaceful and hospitable. They are completely attired only when they sport weapons around their waists. They believe in black magic, sorcery, voodoo and love potions. The Koran, their Bible, forbids the eating of dead meat.

• The Badjaos are mostly found along the Coast of Jolo, Subuti, Sitangkal, Tawi-Tawi islands in Mindanao. They are regarded as cultured because they are hardworking and peace-loving.

• People are active individuals. Sometimes, even while sleeping, they make actions through dreams. Cartoon characters are taken from dreams of the cartoonists. Dreaming is a mysterious act. Dreams may be a source of income. Some dreams make the world go round, open the realities of life or transmit the problems of people.

• The show’s plot and the characters’ acting prowess are spontaneous in giving us a distinct TV program.

• Next week, he’ll be out in the hospital. Bobby felt happy with magical feeling.

• The grass seems to wink at me. The leaves bow down their heads.

• The baby’s existence added to the full essence of their lives’ happiness.

• Do you feel like you’re a newborn today? The earth has come of age giving us time to be born.

• He’s or she’s worried about his/her future. He’s or she’s not sure about the meaning of his/her life.

Life as a game

• Hold and behold the essence of bright days. Everybody must be ready to live every day. Everybody sees life as a game.

• Still, life is going on. You continue to breathe and sigh. You keep on walking and living. You think and sleep for days.

• Yet life will continue to pour the best. There are people who stare.

• Compose your own prayer, patterned after the flow of your life.

• Oh God, guide me to take risks in order to live by your example.

• The students busied themselves drinking thirstily.

• Copy the sentences that denote the events happened in the story.

• Their neighbors muttered out loud how lucky their parents were.

Chief of the rafts

• A ferryman worked hard as the transport chief of the rafts.

• My grandfather is tall for a Korean and my mother got her almost perfect stature from him.

• The people observed keenly the pulsating chest of the animal hiding in the bushes.

• There are animals that sacrifice their lives for people, bring peace to the world or create color and harmony to humankind. You can hear animals talk like, “Don’t get our furs, please!” People cried out loud to stop hurting the animals.

• Execute a debate regarding “Should people use animal skins?”

• Cathy is the richest among the whole sixth grade—she’s been saving since she’s three.

• My folks are believed to be the genius of the century. Their peculiarity made them the most popular people on earth.

• They voted our Math teacher as the most desirable.

• The authorities were intimately bonded with the constituents because of the humanitarian project.

• Conscience (sense of right and wrong, sense of belongingness, being troubled).

Warning to security

• The coming plague of locusts was a warning to people’s security.

• He lifted his soul because of loneliness.

• Choose a partner as well as the kind of music you feel comfortable with to move in rhythm with, and presto! you are now dancing. Dancing in groups is a kind of bonding among the dancers.

• If you were to assess your family’s assets, how much do you think would your worth be?

• Did you explain the conflict in a very understandable way? Did you write in the first person using point of view using the pronouns I and We?

• At my age, swooning to Martin Nievera is far from my age level.

• A stain-smooth piece of driftwood.

• The janitress tried to clean the spume of the water underneath the tree.

• There are times that there are invisible elements in the air.

Atmosphere in poem

• Put a check before the sentence with details that tell the atmosphere in the poem is truly very silent.

• Invisible like butterflies.

• What does “The gentle drop of rain on the ground” mean? Explain.

• Give importance of a person’s right to choose one’s profession.

• Create an atmosphere of family solidarity to the readers.

• “He’s not here!” Miss Racelis told at them. She told them to go out the room.

• He should be given total attention from everybody to make him feel important.

• What use is medicine when it’s but for the rich … sell, sell, sell. What is the use of discoveries if one engorges in its success … full of greed and the kind?

• The agreement to cease the war was followed.

• Media people are afraid that information may be churned by the leftists.

• How does light come at dawn? Do we appreciate the coming of the dawn? Why?

• The world crumbles when poverty and hunger are felt by the people.

Child for once

• “Join other children. You’ll only be a child for once.” At the end, he realized the joy of playing with his classmates.

• They submitted the partial results of the survey in the community. They sent the partial result and the rest will follow.

• Using the Venn diagram, compare the character traits of Rolly with other children.

• “Abracadabra, sssh! Boom! Make some magic for me! Abracadabra, sssh! Boom!” Bobby shouted. He ran to his uncle. “Looked here, Uncle,” he said. His uncle looked like an invisible man.

• Some patients wiggle their heads to signal that they feel something.

• “Will you work abroad, Kuya?” asked Henry with tears suddenly swelling in his eyes. “Where are you going? Why did I feel lonely at once, Kuya?” Henry sat with his hands on his jaws.

• Mr. Reyes carried his suitcase together with his son who was holding onto his neck tightly.

• The turtles squirm independently.

• “Okay, you want always to be alone; that’s bad. Learn to talk to us. You’re like a mute person!”

• Even the birds laughed at him!

LOOKING BACK: A Testimonial to Dominican College Batch '99

2009-02-06T08:06:00.000+08:00

Here's my first post after two weeks of being isolated. Hehe.

Background of the Essay (hehe): This is a long and pending task designated by Coralyn Bermundo and Fritzie Aguado as we are putting up an official website for our highschool batch. I believe this is still subject to editing but I hope this little work is able to provide justice to our class' dignity. :)

LOOKING BACK…

I could but cringe whenever I open my Highschool Annual, especially when I open this certain account of our Batch History. This lengthy and glorifying essay begins with a very corny cliché: A person cannot move towards his future unless he will not (sic) look back at the past.

TOINK!

And always after which do I read back the title: THE ANNALS OF THE BATCH WITH A LEGACY.

MALAMANG! (uli.) No batch can stand without even a microscopic legacy. Then I read more: Though tagged as the “underdogs”… we suddenly turned out to be one of the newest breed of activists… yes we became FIGHTERS.

It is at that part when my stamina to criticize is always tamed. Dominican College High School Batch 1999 as FIGHTERS – that could not be small. And so I begin to stride the memory lane all the way from 1996 to 1999, thinking about all the strife, victories, heartbreaks (uhhhmm…) as well as the earliest streaks of insomnia and Parkinsons (panginginig to what/whoever… grades, CAT Officers – ehem to MOCCs, Ms. Bayugo, etc.). With such memories are remarkable trends, teeny-bopper flicks, soaps, hit songs, campus heartthrobs (hehe), club weeks, pa-sosyal field trips (that I always brag to college friends), retreats (na di pala dapat laging iniiyakan), school-wide epidemics, annual tsubibos and monthly masses (and opportunities to boywatch) at the Santuario. These also include our “unforgettable bond” with that embroidered blue garterized necktie, jumper-cullotes. low-waisted belt, kung-fu shoes, white hankies and GLO metal-polisher; as well as the beginning of our love stories with papers, ledgers, sketchpads, Longwood typewriters, scientific calculators, MS Office (in its most humble beginnings), books, kitchen and baking tools, keyboards and guitar, and yea – even with compact powder, lipstick, curlash, brow-pluckers, nailpolish, Nokia, alcohol and boys.

But what about our legacy as FIGHTERS? Perhaps, this entails a rise of vision. I kind of admit that we do not truly understand that very claim ten years ago; but now, I can attest to its truth. We are indeed fighters. But how?

Let us return to all of the abovementioned “small things” -- such trends, events, rules and others that seemed so ordinary. Then, let’s take a higher stance so that we can see how everything went about, and finally a deep plunge in order to revive the feel. Yes, let us remember; but let us remember high and then deep. Have we been fighters?

YES, WE FOUGHT FOR LIFE – Individually, we studied dead hard in order to graduate (of course!). Collectively, we accompanied a good friend as she struggled for both human and Eternal lives. (God bless Melina; and Melina, may God bless us okay? *wink*)

YES, WE FOUGHT FOR FRIENDSHIPS – As we were always aware that the school is meant to be one’s second home, Dominican College had been a witness not just to our first virtues and vices, but also to the beautiful ties we have forged with numerous people. Girls are naturally sociable as we operate in groups. We lined up for canteen chits, ate, studied, played, prayed, went to the locker, drinking fountain, and even to the CR together. But it is through these little things where we have formed lifetime bonds. We baptized our groups with corny names (Angels, Parasites, Katok, Bomba Gels, etc.) – all of which stand even up to date. We promised each other to join common Friday clubs. We surprised each other with unique gimmicks on special days. (Ehem to Veritas Club and Bro Lio) We cried when we apologize to each other during retreats. And despite being bashed because of such deep sentimentality, we did not mind because it’s just normal for girls to go senti.

And then with the depth of our friendships, we called ourselves a family, with our teachers as second parents and with each other as siblings. And just how a family should be, we deemed that such relationships should be indissoluble. And yes, such ties exist even up to now. Isn’t this the very exigency for a reunion? (…and why Fritzie and Corps have been finding ways to put us together?) Yes we have a big happy family – which must have gone bigger because we are already Titas or Ninangs to our classmates’ kids and Kumares to some “friends-in-laws”.

YES, WE FOUGHT FOR EXCELLENCE – Now, this calls for a lengthy enumeration: we strided our way to the top, in and outside of the campus in terms of academics, student leadership as well as in various co and extra-curricular activities. This family can boast of bright minds, well-rounded leaders, creative artists, assertive speakers, honest entrepreneurs and plain prim and proper colegialas – of whose heads the school hardly pounded lessons on bearing witness to the Truth, living in Love and fighting for Justice. The results of these bouts for excellence can only be evident today. And of course, our list of achievements could but go on and on.

Batch 1999 though always divided into four sections is able to come up with a collective spirit that rises in time of strife, activated and blazing-hot when its time to fight. Oh no, we are not warfreaks! We fight in order to conquer complacency, to be the best in the paths we have chosen, to give gratitude to our Alma Mater who taught us that the weight of existence is meant to be carried than dragged.

Some might not have felt it, but our school is able to imbibe in us a culture of good character. As I have been teaching in college, I have learned how professors invest on character in forming a student. I have handled several juniors coming from DC as students, and I’m proud to have seen in all of them the conscience to study (albeit cramming), the readiness to work on big tasks, openness to change despite reverence for tradition, prudence in resolves, and the steadfast heart for justice. All the Dcans that I have encountered in UST (both young and old) are dignified women, graced with moderation – with nobody underrated or overrated. (I’ve never seen a blondie for a Dcan-Thomasian, not even a super-bibba.)

Perhaps paying gratitude to one’s school is very easy for those who chose to be in the academe, but being so while carrying the Dominican pride is something else. (I remember being told that to be a Dominican educator is to substitute for Dominic’s dog.) To be educated and to educate others, both the Dominican-way, is a round-song of receiving and sharing God’s unending grace. On my end, I am happy to be with this group of women who are carrying our school’s seal in a bigger Dominican community. Telling these girls how I have been a Dominican since birth is always a bragging experience. Nonetheless, it also reminds me of a dignity to keep.

Indeed, it is always good to remember since digging-deep brings us back to our souls. Memories remind us not just of how we have been, but also tell a lot of who we truly are. Ten years have passed, and perhaps it’s about time –neither for a mental anamnesis nor for a simple reminiscence, but for a real homecoming. And when it occurs, may it not just be a time to look back since it’s already high-time to give back.

Tus alumnas, prometemos, Se enseñanza no olvidar. Your students have pledged not to forget your teachings.

Cheers!

ayokong magsulat ng tula

2008-11-25T18:52:00.000+08:00

isisi natin ito sa writer's block. :)

ito'y para sa mga taong may mga alaalang gustong balikan o hagilapin, pero dapat palayain. (yikeeee. kunwari emo tayo. kunwari makata ako. wehehe.)

AYOKO MAGSULAT NG TULA

Mahirap habulin
ang sumisigwa, sipiin ang
mga hindi mapigil maski
saglit para man lang may lingunin
ng sinumang hihinto at babalik.
Walang titik ang maaring tumumbas
sa kariktang may sariling daloy at sigwa.
Di ginagapos ang mga salitang
ni di kaya pasanin ng gunita.

Ayokong magsulat, gusto kong magpalaya.

sinong makakalimot...

2008-11-17T18:00:00.000+08:00

... sa mga ito?

JOEEEEEY. :)I CAN FEEL IT! pat damaso, meet LILET (hehe).Lamok siguradong teypowk!Dear Diary... hahaha.So ilonggo guid!Reminds me of I-Matiyaga and classmate Kristine San Diego. Hehe.

THE TEN CONYO-MANDMENTS

2008-11-17T16:51:00.000+08:00

Marami nito sa MRT.

It's like so funny.

Bwahahaha.

THE TEN CONYO-MANDMENTS

1.Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa" .
ex.
"Let's make pasok na to our class!"
"Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!"
"Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore! It's in Andrew pa, you know?"
`
2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap.
ex.
"I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it's like, so eew, diba?"
"What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?"
"Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"
`
3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO pang-uri!"
ex.
"It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"
"I know right? So sarap nga, eh!"
"You're making me inggit naman.. I'll make bili nga my own burger."
`
4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", 'tsong" or "pare"
ex.
"Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare."
"I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"
`
5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
ex:
"My bag is so bigat today, you know"
"I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"
`
6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.
ex.
"I have so many tigyawats, oh!"
`
7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
ex.
"Like, it's so init naman!"
"Yah! The aircon, it's, like sira!"
`
8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
ex.
"Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"
"It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"
`
9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?"
ex.
"Like, OMG! It's like traffic sa LRT"
"I know right? It's so kaka!"
"Kaka?"
"Kakaasar!"
`
10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
ex.
"I'm, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!"
"Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"

si kulit... (Fafan Files)

2008-10-29T07:21:00.000+08:00

Birthdays are for family data-updates.

Yesterday, we've had our share Tita Kening's (Papa's youngest sister) mommy-tales about Fafan (Franz Josef), one of our youngest cousins. As he is already five years old, he's now beginning to reason out, find things on his own and if he can't -- ask soooo many questions.

TANONG SA PAGPIGIL NG HININGA
* Minsang nakahiga...*
Fafan: Nay! Nasubukan mo na ba magpigil ng hinga?
Tita Kening: Pag nagpigil ka ng hininga, mawawalan ka ng hangin.
Fafan: Eh di mamamatay ka nun?
Tita Kening: Oo.
Fafan: Pero pwede naman pigilin diba? Diba? O ganito... (gagawin)
Tita Kening: Wag mong gagawin yan!
Fafan: Ay, nasubukan ko na dati. Naglagay ako ng unan.
Tita Kening: Huh? Kelan mo ginawa yun? Ano nangyari sa iyo?
Fafan: Tinanggal ko agad yung unan. Eh di ako makahinga eh!

TANONG SA ANGELS
Fafan: Nay, pag ba namatay ako magiging angel ako?
Tita Kening: Ay hindi na, kasi malaki ka na! Mga babies lang yung nagiging angels agad pag namatay.
Fafan: Eh di si Mimi (1 year old cousin), pag namatay magiging angel?
Tita Kening: Oo.
Fafan: Eh di ang Inana (our Lola), pag namatay siya di na sya angel?

USAPANG-DUKHA
* They live in their own place in Cavite with the family of one of our Titas... at shempre, dahil matanong ang bata...*
Fafan: Nay, mahirap lang ba tayo?
Tita Kening: Oo anak, mahirap lang tayo?
** Nag-pause sandali si Fafan...*
Fafan: Eh di sila Tita... hirap na hirap talaga?

THE AMPALAYA EPISODE
* While preparing for his Science test, di niya ma-distinguish ang sour and bitter. So ang solution ni Tita Kening - TASTE TEST!

Tita Kening: so ang suka ay sour -- maasim...
**tastetest**
Fafan: eh yung bitter?
**kumuha si Tita Kening ng ampalaya**
Tita Kening: Eto, ampalaya...
**Akala ni Fafan ipapatikim sa kanya kaya biglang...**
Fafan: huwag!!! Ayoko niyan!
Tita Kening: Eh, eto nga ang ampalaya o...
Fafan: huwaaag!! MAPAIT!!!

Marami pa yan... hahaha.

all i want for christmas are...

2008-10-21T06:55:00.000+08:00

my family's dreamhouse with my mom's dreamkitchen. :)

a dissertation draft! (haha)

and
a TAMRON AF70-300mm F/4-5.6 Di LD Macro 1:2 !

Dissertation OST Track No. 1

2008-10-17T17:22:00.000+08:00

Chubabi says that the song speaks much about writing a dissertation! While everybody knows how he's fond of pop-teeny-bopper song (haha!), wala akong choice but to accept his valid claim. Mapa-corny man, may point eh! Haha. :)

ONE STEP AT A TIME
Jordin Sparks

da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

You believe, and you doubt
You're confused, and got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer (you can't wait)
But there's no end in time (when you need to find the strength)
It's your faith that makes you stronger (the only way we get there)
The only way we get there
Is one step at a time

To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

the poet in Dr. Hornedo

2008-10-09T05:46:00.000+08:00

I can relate to so many parts of this poem written by the Renaissance man. This is from the latest issue of Montage (vol 11, Sept 2008, p23), the Varsitarian's Literary Magazine.

(credits to that icecream break for making me notice that there's something new and unusual inside AB's newspaper box, and to Chubabi for getting me a copy. :D)

Between Choice and Choice
by Florentino H. Hornedo

You have gone this far
To discover
That you did not have
To go this far;
Yet it is too far
And too late
Not to have gone this far.
Time is
A one-way highway.
Regret is a waste.
The only way
Is ahead.
Virtue is necessity.
The only question is
The onward step
From here.
Turning back is a lie.
The only truth
Of choice lies ahead.
And the only choice
Is between choice
And choice.
For the future
Is choice,
So, free it is.

ay sus ginuu!

2008-09-28T17:54:00.000+08:00

credits to Imon. :)

This is why some people are NOT supposed to have online accounts (most specifically friendster accounts)..

1) Ayumi
Occupation: student
Companies: rockers companies!
Hobby: chating!!
wants to meet "pretty girls!! only!! hehes!!" (Bakit kaya installment? Read this with feelings for maximum appreciation. Complete with the pauses.)

2) -GEniE Lou-
aBouT me???? (Eh kailangan pa ba namang i-reiterate na about you ito?) A persOn wHo is veRy conservative, have positive outlook in lyf, suMtyms I brEak pRomises dat can cause someone angry w/ me (Grrrrr!!! Nakakagalit talaga!) .... im very productive person... everytime i do some task or deeds i will make a plan 1st b4 i go 4 it. im very fond ! in listening 2 musizzzz im da type of person dat tells frankly (And Frankly would be... your best friend's name?)

3) jOnah-nUevE 'kikAy fOe RiL'
Companies: oN mAh hiStOry.. wYL i WAs On A mAll hOppiNg.. sUmvody GAve mE A stArstruck fOrM... HAhA! itz kinDA wEiRD.... wAtZ uP wit dAt huH? (What's up with YOU???)

4) -aNnA-
MaArtE,SEnSItive, SuPlAdITa, FRiEnDly, fAshiOnIStA, KikAy, AtTraCtiVe AnD EveRytHinG NiCE THaT Was Me!! (Was ba talaga?) MaTaLinO (ThEReS N o OnE IN THiS WoRLd hAs stUpId MiNDs) (You might want to reconsider this.) mAaRte aKo PeRo InDi AkO mAlAnDE-jUZ DOn'T EvEr jUdGe Me cOz yOu dONt mE aT AlL.... (Huh?) AND ..... YoU MuZ ReMEmBeR eVeRYtHinGs hAs a reAsONS..... DoNt ! DArE mE COz YoU DoNt knOw wHaT CaN I dO (Eh parang clueless ka din naman eh.) SoMe peopLe dOnT UnDErSTaNd WhAT Is my aTtItUde BUt dOnT JuDgE aNyOnE...... .. i pRoTeCT my fRieNdS...aNd pRoTeCt YoUrs :) (I sure will-from you.)

5) catherine joyii
Affiliations: Catholic (Bang!)

"dont lyk pipol hu r very: PLASTIKS, pa EPAL, LIARS and anything na mga BAD ATTITUDE I like hu r vry gud.... (Huh? Who?)!!! "and if u want me to ur friend, jaz aDD me uP" (Bang! Bang!)

6) alexandra rose sobida
About Her: long hair, bolding eyes (Hmm... meaning?), red lips and long life (Amen!)
Who She Wants to Meet: a spiecial boy in my hole life forever and ever (Amen ulit!)

7) maria princesa
caption ng picture: "am i look good"
Affiliations: An roman catholic
Favorite TV Shows: OPHRA (Of-ra ba kamo?)
About Her: Me......... hmmmmmm ...... simpl! e and always happy....... . i know you've get it.......... . (Actually, hindi.)
wants to meet "somebody who has a sen se of humor and simple gets" (Simple gets. Maghanap ka ng ibang kausap, 'ne!)

8) lito
Companies: wa lang. im just in the class room seating on my chair and flerting with gurls....... (Tsk, tsk. Yur a beri bud boi ah!)
TV Shows: Whos line is that? (Nabitin sa title.) and teleseryes
About him: I am a 19 year old strait guy, and i love doing creative stuff and having fun.... entering personal relationships with girls and guys even gays is okey with me as long as they are mature and responsible enough to hundle a relationship. By the way!!! (Shet. Naninigaw siya!) before, I was against bisexual relationships en even sexual intercoarses (Papel de liha daw. Magaspang eh.) between same sexes, that was me before that memorable night happen to me when i was in 4th year highschool.. .. (Sus! Baka mabasa 'to ng mga magulang mo!)

Sa inyong pagbaybay sa kanyang fantasy land (aka friendster profile-"about me" section) kung maaari lamang po'y 'wag niyong kaligtaan bigyan ng pansin ang mga sumusunod:
boardmaits
permission to my parents
inerested
desided
leaking ("Licking" 'to actually.)
niples (Hala. Kulang. Baka 1 lang din ang kanya.)
stroakign (believe me, he meant "stroking.")
saterday
apartmen
doing our staff i realizes (I DEMAND A REFAND!!!)

9) lady biolente
caption ng picture: "it's meh,panget koh d2 bat kya!!! hehehe" (Hmm... bakit nga kaya?)
Occupation: collage student (Wow. BA Collage ba 'yan? Sana nag-fine arts ka na lang para diverse tapos major in collage!)
Movie: the ant (At starring sino naman kaya?)
About her: ahm.......about meeh!!!??? ATTITUDE? kind,suplada minsan.. pro most of da tym mabait meeeh..., makulit, lagi na nka-smyl ngaun... talented pa! i can dance. i can sing....i can fly basta ba my wings, eh...he!he!he! (Feeling langaw.) OUTLOOK? syempre magand a,noh! alangan nmn laitin k ang sarili koh...height koh? 5'3'' ASSET KOH? my legs sbi nila.... taken na meehh....... ...should I say yes!? (No. Utang na loob, paki intindi ng mga pinagsusulat niya.)

10) Geneveve
Occupation: business women (Marami siguro silang may-ari ng account na 'to.)
Affili ations: business
Hobbies: watcing tv (Watsing?)
About her: beutiful and honest
wants to meet... i want ta meet people is simple only (Good luck with that.)

11) christopher
Hobbies: lapping trip (Macho dancer in da house!) ; tambay; sound trip; gumala
My Looks: punkiztah (Eh talaga bang kailangan 'to?)

12) masaaki
Affiliations: Governor (Sa bagay, puwede nga namang he's affiliated with the governor... pero mali eh...! Maliiiiii!)
Hobbies and Interests: play guitar and to be band
About Him: cOoL... taLL.... sMarT.... & mO$t oF th! aT tRuth LovEr..... (As in "mahal ang katotohanan" o "true lover" ba dapat?) ha..ha...ha. ...ha.... .ha..... eVerythiNgs' trUth (Words of wisdom from Masaaki * Palakpakan *)

13) gummibear
About Me:"im kaRReL.. iM a giRL hu oLweZ waNa b HappY buT jSt cnT b! I cAn eiTHer b sEriouS oR siLLy... liBeraTed,,fuN. .no worrieS.. iM a prActiCal woMan n I eiTHer (Baka naman "I'd rather...") Lose mY heart dAN my bRaiNS.. (So which one DID you lose? Clue naman diyan...) it'S harD 2 piCk uP d piEceS oF my liFe..,, veRy comPlicaTed. . buT noT noW.. (Ano ba talaga? Complicated ba o hindi?) i dNt bLiV iN dEsTinY iM abouT reALiTy., uR liFE iS in uR hAnds//// so uR d 1 hu coMpLicaTe iT...." (No, no, no-YOU complicate it.)

14) maricel
Occupation: looking a job (Magandang career 'yan.)
Hobbies: dancing, chatting, reading book, outting outdoors (Outting outdoors... hmm. I wonder...)
Favorite Book: The Purpose Driven in life (Ito ba talaga ang title ng aklat na ito?)
M! usic: fashions (Maaari bang bigyang linaw ninyo kung anong nagaganap dito?)

15) Breeks
Favorite Music: stay w/ cushe, the day u said gudnyt w/ hale, kahit pa w/ hale again, specialy 4 u w/ MYMP, tell me y it herts (Eh ilang kilo Hertz ba iyan?) w/ MYMP again, love moves in mysteriuos ways w/ NINA ehehehe!!!!
About Me: im a person n siryoso pro happy ksm en i dont like sa mga pipol n plastik gus2 ko ung dldl ("Daldal" pala 'to. Akala ko naman kung ano...) pro my sen ce ung cnsabi en real... im sure n mag kksundo tyo!!! Practically (Baka "basically." ) i want pretty girls but honestly i like mostly girls who are nice to accompany (Escort service ba ang hanap niyo?) and not malandi ...waaaaah i hope i cud fyn special one !!! (Lord, ang sakit na talaga ng ulo ko.)

16) Anthony
Affiliations: hardcore serial killer/frustrated assassin, computer addict (Malamang "describe yourself" ang pagkakaintindi niya dito.)
Favorite Movie: Harry Potter all the movies that were already shown and including the one's that is still being made (Wow, advanced.)
Favorite Music: alternative, rock, mellow, pop, kahit ano basta hale o cueshe ( Aba , very seasoned ah.)
About Me: im just a person who sit's silently on one corner (Yeah. And stay there.)

17) -pRettY cAng-
Favorite Music: ACOUSTIC...reggea (Huh?)

"me?? im just a si mple girl... hmmm... sometimes im othistic" (Ayuneeeee! Ops, wala akong sinabi...! It came straight right out of the proverbial horse's mouth!)

"loves 2 eat but still sexy and i carry myself very well with the way I look and the way i dress." (Why don't we just take her word for it?)

"when it comes to my character, i reflect myself as a conforming one because i have tested myself of doing things which anticipated to be done." (Tissue, please. Dumudugo ang ilong ko.)

18) SheZzO GraniTy
Hometown: AurOrA wEr CrimE iS OrGaniZeD (Ingat dito mga kapatid.) En ThA RuLe 2 FoLLoW (Is what...?)
Schools: sTa.cLarA wEr pLenTy oF mUrdErEr OccUrS (Tandaan ang paaralang ito-'wag ie-enroll ang mga bata dito.)
Affiliations: ThuG BaLLa bAbY oF kArEn rOsE
About Me: i CamE FrOm a SmaLL TowN wEr oL ThA GenGsTerS- kiLLahZ- DruG DeaLahZ- YounG bLoOdS- LiVin aLonE AnD biG TyM SinDiCaTe ArE OcCurS (Ito pala ang nuknukan... Ano ba'ng number sa police station?)

19) -lil LiZ-:
"rOcKeRz!! n pUnKz!!!! ASTIG!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" (Yeah. Sure.)

Affiliations: tEnNaGe LiFe!! (Double dead ito. Mali na, wrong spelling pa. Tsk.)
Favorite Movies: chukie 1 and 2 (Chukie? Malamang habulin ka talaga ng saksak ng manikang 'to dahil na-misspell mo yung pangalan niya.)

wants to meet "ANYONE. if ya want to know more just sen me a message!!" (Once again, no tenks.)

20) -'kEiXi'-
Hometown: nAVOetAst (In truth, NAVOTAS. Haaaay. Baketttttttttt? ????)
About Me: aqOuh?? (Hindi-ako daw...) .. cHimPle LAng.. bUT cAn maKE yUr hEAd tURn (Feel ko na nga mag-a la-Exorcist this far eh.) ,, *HoTcHiC**sEXy dAw..cHAvii nG mGAh fWEnDz qEw (Masyado kang nagpapaniwala. ...) .. sVi qEw nAMn.. mAdAnDa aqEw.. maArTE?/..sObra ** hiHi.. nDi mHEii mAarTE.. kAla nYOuh lAng yUn,, kSHi cHigURo .. yU fOUnd mE.. wEAriNg uNiqUe eAriNgs.. (So...?) USing mAkEuP.. oWeYs lOoKing mY fACe in tHE mirror.. mAarTE bAh yUN? (Hindi naman masyado)
who i want to meet: "xA aCcoUnt qEw..kHit cHiNU pwEde.. kHit ikA'y mUkhang .. tAtaNgAPEn kiTAh bsTAh bAH TEZti cOUh aAhh" (Yuneeeeeeee! !! Testimonial pala ang habol.)

21) PrEtty StEpS IV
Affiliations: vOLLeYBaLL pLaYeR, cOLLeGe sTuDeNt, pARt tiMe MoDeL (iN MAHdReaMZ) (Huy, gising!), ChEEr DanCER & UR fRiEnDLiEsT nEiGhBoR iN ToWn......!! !! ( Aba , waynat?!)

"I wud nEver faLL again fOr soMeOne he's hEad oVer heeLs wiTh (So you're into girls...?) iN Comes To A rELATIONShIP I am faiTHfuL aNd sweet I haTes aNd curSes pLayErs (Playaz beware!) I am eMoTioNaL, I lisTens to My mind buT I stiLL foLLows My heart (Gollum? Is this you?) someone U Can tRUsT On

THANK YOU FOR PATRONIZING MY FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT LOVE YOU ALL (Uy, artista. Love lots ba?)

22) -sTaY ovErLoaD-
Hometown: TaGuiG..ThE FLazE To bEE..MaHoGanY (Yes naman!)
Occupation: boniFiEd (na-Boni? Ano?) and cErTiFied HeavEn ringEr..aLpha MaN.. (Meaning...? )
Affiliations: aFiLL-FuLL and ThuguFuLL..ThEY r grEaT jusT 4 onE nigHT buT iM grEaT evErY nigHT!! (Something tells me that... nah... 'wag na lang. Think what you want.)

23) Jean
Companies: Schools (Puwede naman...)
Affiliations: Cristianity (Yun na!)
Who I Want to Meet: "be always respect the universal trademark clan within the highest organization" (Oh. My Gadddd. This could be the motherest of them all grand statements, don't you think?)

24) adora
Companies: companies of CUTE PERSON (Yeah. What. Ever.)
Favorite Movies: thombraider (Thom the Braider daw? Ano?)

"ME...a simple GOD creature (Right... Of course you are.) , a high climber (Feeling unggoy.) & aggressive person, i want a new clothes, books..... ( Aba . At may wishlist pa!) some of my other descriptions are---->friendly, jealousy, cute, honest..." (Just what exactly was he trying to do here again?)

"i love spaghetty" (Aaah... ako, spaghetti ang gusto ko.)

Who I Want to Meet: A CUTE PERSON..and i hate a person who has a BAD IMAGE like being ignored, finishing second, hand-me-downs, waiting, LIAR, forgetfullnes, haste, feeling ignorant, vulgarity, ugliness, being pressured, LOUD ARGUMENTS & MAKING PROMISES.. (May kaunting kaguluhan.)

25) giriz
Affiliations: Bsta Nilalang sa EarTh pro luv c God (Oh... And what do we have here?)

"i like" play badminton." (Me don't like.)

"My true name: Giriz Romanos" (At an o naman yung fake?)

"I was born: in Earth!!!" (Are you sure? Is that your final answer?)

"I dont juge the book by its cover I read it first" (Aminin nating may punto siya... pero BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA pa rin!)

26) ooohweeeh gUl
Ms. "beat mah sexxy ass if u fwakin can" (I won't even fwakin try! Man!!! WHAT does this mean???)
About Me: "im juss a simple gul wit very naughty attitudes that guys might like and love" (Guys, totoo ba 'to?)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet different pips ho can carry dir self very and has strong personality" (Haaaaay.)

27) Bhabes
Affiliations: sana magkaroon ako ng boy friend n very gentleman, and caring person at igagalang k ng 22o. (Kami siguro, igagalang niya. Ikaw... sana rin.)
Favorite Books: ..."a dauther is a forever" (A what is forever??? Hala na...)
Favorite TV Shows: amanda show, spongebob disney, rush hour 2, parents trap, freacky Friday (Parang freacky freckles ang naisip ko dito...) basta ung nakakakilig na panoorin., ung mga tpong png lovers only.ung nkakakilig (Ay ewan ko sa'yo.)

28) Jha
Favorite Music: aLL e'M oF mUsIc As SoOn ThAt It's NoT iRrITaTe Me (YOU irritate me.)
About Me: !nSan3 Of NaTuRe: I liKe aLwAyS aN aDvEnTuRe & ThriLL iN mAh LiF3 i NeVer LoSt ThAt cOz, I'm The On3 who LoOk & FiNd FoR tHat B4 k!!! rYt nOw NOTHING!!! jUsT aN oRdInARy Mhe (But still insane of nature, quite obviously.)
Who I Want to Meet: who need to talk to someone. (Is this a question? Maybe YOU need to talk to someone-at sana magkaintindihan kayo.)

29) m E d Y FULL
Favorite Books: lovHisToRy Of My SeLf by: The one who es YOu!!!!! It's mE!! (Teka, nahulog ako sa upuan ko.)
About Me: "...i'm a simple person with a simple traits... dat's ol!" (Bow. I tenk you.)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet ol of you, someone lyk you, whose fun to be with... of coarse... YOU"" (Ikaw-ikaw ang magaspang. Pareho kayo ni Contestant #8.)

30) Giselle
Hobbies: "im fun of texting ... im fun of dancin, sleeping, eating and singing and also fun of spending time with my frends" (Wow! What a FUN person you are! Ganito din ang fave books niya-"I'm fun of...")

"i want to make friends to all the pipol in the world!!! .... i want to meet pipol who is friendly and jam to be with!!" (Hayyyyy... Diyos na mahabagin!)

31) Gtonjethone
"Don't let my looks fool you! Im a EDUCATED FOOL w/ PARTIES, DISCO AND GAMES in my MIND!" (Uy! Gangsta's Paradise na combo meal! Sakto!)

"...Sometime i go further till 6 or 7am..." (Ano daw?)

"I want a long hair! (Isa lang ba talaga ang gusto mo?) So i can copy my sitmates answer w/out being seen by my teacher!" (Tsk, tsk. Principal's office na 'to.)

"I love ANEMI FANATICS like myself!" (Ang dapat sa'yo ay Hara Kiri.)

32) cOmWiZgiRL VII
"iM a siMpLe girL!prO mnSn rAkiZtA oUtfit aQ!" (Tsssssssss. Kayo ang nagpapababa ng kahulugan ng pagiging rocker.)

"Luk mtrAy at chUpLaDa dw cHAbi nG mGa kpitbhy nMin" (What's with the "ch-"? Geez.)

"d aQ mAartE!(pWerA LnG iF tiNO2pAk aQ!)" (At mukhang lagi kang tinotopak.)

wants to meet "ung mga nkanursing na uniform. (i duNnO y, maybE tHey nEat)" - (Yeah. Maybe.)

33) tEtHeN
Hobbies and Interests: cmPle Lng...bOys.. bOys...and bOys...bSta lOt oF boYs... (I leave it up to my discerning fellow readers to pass judgment on this one...)
Favorite Books: ..y U mAkE me fiL xo gAga Ba wiD yaH..!!!???! ! (Minumura na ba tayo?)

"dMIng KOng lAit sA mgA cHakA...wAhekS" (Hulaan mo kung kanino ako maraming lait... that's right!)

wants to meet someome "tO bE mY crYinG sHoulDer aNd mY stRenGht" (O, calling on all those na may crying shoulder...)

34) raceL
"its been a long time since i involved in a relationship" (I think I know why...) so pls hands off if ur just playing on me..." (Noli Me Tangere.) You can always here me sharing my opinions to others" (Here you? O baka there you? Ano ba?)

"During my past-time, i browse and browse internet..." (Adik ka!)

friends: "as long as we clicked each other's company...that' s fine with me" (Huh?)

"Some says I'm a masungit" (Ay. Dizz iz it, folks.)

35) kleeny (Hanep sa pangalan. Tamang-tama, sinisipon ako.)
Companies: Not Yet. (O 'wag daw muna! Atat ka eh.)
Favorite Books: All Books as long as there are sense about LOVE ( Sana ito ring sinabi mo na 'to may sense.)

"U will enjoy my company...I assure you 4 that" (Nako, girl! FOR THAT, featured ka dito!)

"I have a long curly Hair (Take note: isang kulot na buhok lang.) & my friends said that i have a cute Chinese eyes!!" (Naniningkit na ba kayo sa asar?)

"Want to Meet? Whoever, whatever as long as they are Good & Respected People (Politicians, perhaps?). I like a Persons who are Triple S stands for SIMPLE, SWEET & SINCERE..." (Tandaan sa darating na halalan!)

36) shanlee
Affiliations: socialization (Somebody-anybody, please start defining affiliations. Utang na loob.)

"easy to belong with specially to those people hu r nice too"

37) Maricar
Affiliations: cosmetics (This part has never ceased to amaze me.)
Hobbies and Interests: ...making friends globally (Hello, Ms Congeniality! )

"sometime I can't hide 'the child in me'." (Paki tago, please.)

"I firmly believe that 'The way to A Man's Heart is Through His Stomach' thats why i like winning my man by preparing him delicious and nutritious food." (Thank you, Dr Quack-Quack. )

Who I Want to Meet: I want him to be HIMSELF!!!!! (Sino daw? Buti 'di mo sinabing "I want to be HIMSELF!" Buti na lang talaga...)

38) jAcMuZiKaDiK- V
fave music: i DiG aLm0Zt oL KiNdZ gez m so versatile. (Uhh, yeah. Right.)

"im s0o0o0o0 REAL...thts foe meh!!" (Foe meeh, yoe not, dawg.)

"sounds COINCEITED but m not!!!" (May identity crisis ang COINCEITED na ito.)

"i dnt have d ASS( w/c most of d guyz dig n2)..." (Shet! Dig INTO?! Arayyyyyyyy! !!)

39) JeAn
"my friend call me roni for short bu! t to make it long call me roni-jean" (Pahabain pa ba natin ang usapan?)

she "can be please easily" & "know how to deal wth diff.type of person (even d tambay i can deal wth dem)" ( Aba , tignan niyo nga naman!)

"vulgar...i can say wt i wnt....even its not gud in ur ear..." (Now look what you've done! Kanina ilong lang... now my ears are bleeding too!!! Huhuhu!)

40) Collen May
"I am Ms. Personality and Ms. Congeniality (Ibig sabihin, hindi daw siya kagandahan.) daw with long black straight hair and morena. I am friendly in school (especially with the teachers- (Kailangan eh...ops! Hindi sipsip-friendship lang ito.) ) and even the alumni people!!! Kasi some of them are my neighbors."

"I love wearing and accesorizing clothes to make myself beautiful... :-) (Nag-work naman ba?) hello...joke lang po! They say i walk like a model or just pretending to walk like one but its the way i walk, really it's the truth and nothing but! (O ha?! O ha?!)"

41) Daryl
"me?? im ayl hndi mganda pro SEXY!hehehe. .! pangit pro MATALINO. Hndi kgandahan pro MABAIT..." (Ipinagdiinang pangit siya. What can I say?)

42) Aaron
"Ahhhhhhmmmmm! !!!! Just add me to your friend.... (Uhh... sige. Kanino mo gusto?) If you really wanna know about mee (No, I really don't.)!!!!!, but just an impression, im not gonna be what you expect" (Oh really? Try me.)

43) wilmar
"im a true freind that im willing to fight my friends (Panigurado, pala-away ang batang ito.) , sometimes she can be rude if you want to and she really hates plastic person (What did I miss? Who's "she?"). im prank very prank (You're a joke, that's for sure.) and if i hates i tell it to them para hinde nila masabi na im so beas." (Do you think he (or she-whatever) means "bias" here? Whatchuguystink? )

44) tThHaaALyN
Affiliations: meeting different ki nd of people...=> those people who I can easily asses myself with...=D (This is too much for my kokote.)
Hobbies and Interests: people who's fun to be with ! and interesting. .....have mood swings too...wen provoked!! im a different type of girl... not the one that u always encounter wid!! (Nadapa pa. Dinagdagan pa kasi ng "with" eh. Tsk, tsk.)

"want 2 mit?? well does people who's please to mit me 2!!!" (Sabog na ulo ko.)

45) Princess
Affiliations: im friendly and everything:) (Huhuhu... why, God???)

"im fund of music... ("Fund" naman ang drama nito, hindi na "fun" (see Contestant #30). Mukhang mayaman!) i want to... build a Europian school here in the Philippines " (Mayaman nga 'ata...)

Who I Want To Meet: "im open for all..." (Feeling Ministop.)

46) 'marlaX'
"mah hair s quite long a nd sleek wit a bang" (Medyo nahuli, pero happy new year pa rin!)

"i hv ds pierce on mah upper left ear" (On yawh uppah left eah ba? Tigazzzzz!)

"kaya pls lng wlang poporma at wag mgbalak manligaw dto!" (Hint, hint! Mag-reverse psychology ba?)

47) Jas
Motto: If there's a will, There's a will... (Haaay. Been there been that.)
Favorite Day: Everyday (Sa bagay, 7 lang naman ang araw sa isang lingo...)

J - jesus*
A - almighty*
S - savior*

* (What the...?!?!? Can't we just leave Jesus out of this? Geez...)

48) Arvie Jan
"ako ang nag-inspired kay Boy Abunda sa fassion." (Ows?)

"because relationship comes and go but friendship is forever!!! ininglish pa yun!!!" ( Aba . Proud pa siya.)

49) Joel
all of you are welcome in my friendster.. . even if you are a girl,boy,lesbian, gay,hunk, or naugthy...or either you are a bisexual or trisexual... (Wow. Lahat tanggap niya. Kamon let's join us!)

50) beware
"so kung feel mo akong maging friend, take the risk! face all the hardships and danger... hu knows? baka dun mo makita ang kasiyahan na hindi mo pa nadarama sa buhay mo.." (Hmm... do you think this is a threat?)

51) riechell
"mahilig sumali sa contest at pagent at nag-hahakot ng awards tulad ng sports wear at specially ang miss. photogenic" (Check out her picture)

konting talinhaga

2008-09-22T18:03:00.000+08:00

Sa pagsisimula, dun nawawala.
Sa pagkawala, dun nagsisimula.

Buhay nga naman! :)

what's with the name

2008-09-21T09:47:00.000+08:00

wehhh, di nga? :)

What Fleurdeliz Means

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.
You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.
But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

on this day of Inay

2008-09-08T19:13:00.000+08:00

I TRIED to revive, or at least remind myself of the spirituality that I do not feel nowadays. I'd like to blame it to entire load that's in my hands right now; but given that I'm always busy, it is not supposed to be an issue.

Perhaps it is indeed true that God's grace can only be felt if you seem helpless during the times that you're supposed to be strong. The responsibilities that I have now could but imply the power that must be its consequent (enter Spiderman - with great power comes great responsibility), yet having so many things to do seem to cause me more wounds than honor. Nonetheless (yes, biglang kabig) by the fact that I can still bring it on, I'd like to think that my strength is not just coming from myself, but from Divine Grace. Had it been just because of me, I'm sure that I can't be as strong despite these wounds.

I hold on to that thought especially now that I'm trying to regain the spirituality that I must have already lost. I attended the Holy Mass in celebration of the Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary and tried my best to pray just as how I did before: fixed my eyes on the left altar where there is the Tabernacle and Inay, tried to find silence and ignored the rest of the world althought text messages of varied concerns kept on coming in. I knew that I should be able to do that, especially now that I particularly intercede through Mary, because I cry to her. However, I was not able to get the light and feel-good disposition that I've been looking for. Now, this reminds me of a recent visit at the Sto. Domingo Church -- whenever I go there, I always find time for a serious visit; but two Sundays ago, I could but have a glimpse of Inay.

Many things came into my head when I was praying earlier:

* Crushed Pride - for saying sorry for a fault that I have not done (or perhaps, I could but be an accessory of); while I don't have any other choice but to take the fault in behalf of some people (who are connected to me anyway), I understand that I don't have any other choice but to carry the burden. Again, somebody's theory about me is once again proven: Di talaga para sa akin ang pagmamaldita.

* A Challenging Team Effort - for something big that we've been working on for the past few months. With all its ups and downs, with its heroes and villains. I could but pray that things will be well. I hope that everybody understands why I have to put a li'l pressure on each because things must be accomplished pronto and efficiently.

* The Point of Working on Projects that Fan Somebody Else's Ego - is it done out of experience or love? Love of whom? Love for what?

* Deadlines to Beat - should be taken as it is.

All of these were in my head while praying that my mind had become garbled and dazed. At the end of the Mass, I tried to think about what happened - Did I really pray?

Perhaps I did, and I hope I really did. It's just bad that it's all I have to offer to Inay. But I know that she understands that she must have hugged me, only if she's really here.

Yea, perhaps I just need Inay's loving embrace.

inay

2008-09-07T17:33:00.000+08:00

Sa kabila ng lahat ng kaguluhan at tambak na trabaho, paano malilimutan ang kaarawan ng iyong ina?

Di pwedeng mangyari iyon. :)

Haburday Inay!

it's very untimely

2008-08-31T05:30:00.000+08:00

To confront old issues(1), for three hours(2) in the middle of all these work(3) in these crucial times(4).
-----------

(1) - that which ive thought im so over and done with.
(2) - during a meeting which i promised (at least to myself) to keep professional
(3) - with everything that's in my hands
(4) - with all the deadlines coming within the next two weeks.

Why do I have to fall - be reminded of the past, and be reminded that the pain still lingers...
...only to pick up myself again - because I have to and that I dont even have the right to sulk, because many people are again counting on my strength. And that I have to recover on my own.
...at the soonest possible time - because of BIG and URGENT needs.

Why does the wound have to resurface in these crucial times when I have to be reminded of my strength?

To those whom I work with, I promise (and I'll try hard) to be well. But please understand that with what just happened I guess it is now when I really need your support.

More than ever.

love is rational pala ha!

2008-08-29T16:05:00.000+08:00

Break muna sa buhay-becaria.

Pagbigyan na ako't minsan lang naman ako maging sexist, hehe. Para talaga ito sa mga babae, lalo na sa mga philo-girls.

Madalas tayong biktima ng mga soap operas na kung saan mas determinado ang mga babae sa kung anumang gusto nila. Perhaps, I am stereotyping; but I find their male counterparts too silent for what they desire. To think, guys aren't really introverts. But it's strange on why guys in love stories cant be depicted the way they were in Braveheart, the Ocean's 11,12,13 (magbilang tayo...), Catch me if you can; and even in semi-mushy films like Dead Poets' Society, Patch Adams, etc. Where's the natural arrogance and tenacity?

Dalawang rason lang ang naiisip ko kung bakit tahimik ang isang lalake sa mga panahong alam niyang dapat siyang magsalita: di siya sigurado o nagpapaubaya lang. May mga panahong kagalang-galang ang katahimikan, pero minsan nagiging signos rin ito ng kawalan ng tadyang.

Nakakabilib, pero nakakainis rin makakita ng isang babaeng lumalaban, kasi ito lang ang paraan para makuha ang gusto niya. Applicable ba ito sa usaping love? Ewan ko. Di ko sigurado. May mga pagkakataon naman kasing di kailangan makipaglaban eh. Kailangan mo lang magmahal. Yun lang. Palagay ko, eto ang pinakamagandang resolusyon para sa mga babaeng minalas na umibig at umiibig dun sa mga "tahimik".

Tumatakbo ang prinsipyong ito sa kasabihang "walang laban kung wala namang dapat ipaglaban". Ewan ko na naman. Pwede naman kasing magmahal maski hindi umaangkin eh (enter the concept of "liberating love"! haha) Yung tamang pagkilala lang. Palagay ko sapat na yung pagmamahal para sa mga taong binuo na ang sarili nila bago mo pa man sila nakilala. Tama na yung suporta lalo na't isa yung "binuo" nila sa mga inibig mo. May mga pagkakataon lang talagang hindi mo kailangan kunin yung mga taong alam mong buong buhay mong maappreciate.

Ngayon naman, kapag sinabihan kang ikaw ang bubuo sa kanya -- nakakakilig pero ewan ko na naman -- alam ng lahat ng marunong mag-isip na wala kang pwedeng ibigay na makakakumpleto. Ang suporta ay isang uri ng pakikisabay, kumbaga may boses pa rin ang mang-aawit maski walang tugtog. Kung di maganda ang boses kung walang tugtog, di iyon problema nung tugtog. Kung sakali mang di niya kayang mabuo ang sarili ng wala ikaw, alalahaning di ka isang pader. Kaya siguro tahimik kasi wala syang anumang balak dahil ni mangarap di niya kayang gawin.

Walang mali na magkagusto. Pero palagay ko'y kailangan mag-ingat ng bawat babae. Walang masama sa pagmamahal, pero may paraan para ipakita ito nang hindi nilalaglag ang sarili. Ewan ko. Naranasan ko nang lumaban, pero minalas akong iwan ito nang hindi natatapos. Para akong napagod sa wala. Pero hindi naman siguro ibig sabihin nito'y di ko na kayang tumaya sa mga susunod na pagkakataon. Nabigyan lang ako ng mga importanteng leksyon.

Mahalagang magsimula ang kwento ng pag-ibig sa iyong sarili. Sa love, walang sisihan. Pero maski nagmula sa iyo, dapat walang pilitan. (Oo, para ito sa mga babae -- bahagi mo ang paghihintay) Siguro, pwede namang magpahiwatig - sa mga makakahulugang ngiti, sa pagiging mabait -- pero hindi mo papel ang panliligaw. Kapag na di na matiis at maipit ang feelings, pwede naman siguro magtapat - pero isa iyong sugal! Sukat iyon ng katapangan. Wag umibig para mabalikan -- kung lalampas ka ng kaunti, gawin iyon para lang sa pagbibigay. Sabi nga ni Sir Bong - pag nagmahal ka, okay na yun; pag minahal ka rin, bonus na yun.

Isa pa, yung unang ugali ng taong mamahalin ang kailangang tanggapin kapag nagmamahal. Kung ayaw mo ng sakit ng ulo, wag kang tumaya para dun sa mga alam mong may dapat pang baguhin - lalung-lalo kung alam mong ikaw ang magiging dahilan ng kanyang pagbabago. Hindi nagmamahal ang isang tao para maging naglalakad na rehab center.

Ang pagmamahal ay isang pagsuko ng pride, pero hindi ng dignidad.

an interesting church news...

2008-08-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

... which will probably affect my paper. (haha) Goodluck, sana hanggang liturgy lang ito.

Permalink: http://www.zenit.org/article-23414?l=english

Vatican Says "Yahweh" Not to Be Pronounced

Calls on Practice Used by 1st Christians

WASHINGTON, D.C., AUG. 19, 2008 (Zenit.org).- A note from the Vatican has reiterated a directive that the name of God revealed in the tetragrammaton YHWH is not to be pronounced in Catholic liturgy.

Bishop Arthur Serratelli, chairman of the U.S. bishops' Committee on Divine Worship, in a note informing prelates of the Vatican directive, said the indications "do not force any changes to official liturgical texts," but might cause "some impact on the use of particular pieces of liturgical music in our country as well as in the composition of variable texts such as the general intercessions for the celebration of the Mass and the other sacraments."

Commonly used songs with phrases such as "Yahweh, I know you are near," will need to be modified.

The June 29 Vatican message, from the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Sacraments, clarified that the name of God revealed in YHWH was not pronounced by the first Christians, following the tradition already in use.

It explained: "The venerable biblical tradition of sacred Scripture, known as the Old Testament, displays a series of divine appellations, among which is the sacred name of God revealed in a tetragrammaton YHWH -- hwhw. As an expression of the infinite greatness and majesty of God, it was held to be unpronounceable and hence was replaced during the reading of sacred Scripture by means of the use of an alternate name: 'Adonai,' which means 'Lord.'

"The Greek translation of the Old Testament, the so called Septuagint, dating back to the last centuries prior to the Christian era, had regularly rendered the Hebrew tetragrammaton with the Greek word Kyrios, which means 'Lord.' Since the text of the Septuagint constituted the Bible of the first generation of Greek speaking Christians, in which language all the books of the New Testament were also written, these Christians, too, from the beginning never pronounced the divine tetragrammaton."

Theology

The Vatican goes on to note that this practice had "important implications" for New Testament Christology.

"When in fact, St. Paul, with regard to the crucifixion, writes that 'God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name which is above every name" (Phil 2:9), he does not mean any other name than 'Lord,' for he continues by saying, 'and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord' (Phil 2:11; cf. Isaiah 42:8: 'I am the Lord; that is my name')," the Vatican note explained.

"The attribution of this title to the risen Christ corresponds exactly to the proclamation of his divinity," it continued. "The title in fact becomes interchangeable between the God of Israel and the Messiah of the Christian faith, even though it is not in fact one of the titles used for the Messiah of Israel."

"Avoiding pronouncing the tetragrammaton of the name of God on the part of the Church has therefore its own grounds," the Vatican concluded. "Apart from a motive of a purely philogical order, there is also that of remaining faithful to the Church's tradition, from the beginning, that the sacred tetragrammaton was never pronounced in the Christian context, nor translated into any of the languages into which the Bible was translated."

what philosophers do

2008-08-28T05:14:00.000+08:00

Fr. Ranie Aquino writes about what's written all over my face since July.
Published 25 August 2008 at the Manila Standard Today.

WHAT PHILOSOPHERS DO

By Fr. Ranhilio Callangan Aquino

COMIUCAP is the acronym for “Conference Mondiale des Institutions Universitaires Catholiques de Philosophie”—The World Conference of Catholic University Institutions of Philosophy. It is meeting in Manila on Sept. 11 to 13. It is certainly a global event for philosophers, philosophy professors, students and dabblers. Not much is heard about it because, in the Philippines, those who bother about philosophy in more than a casual manner may very well qualify to be on the “endangered list.” Dr. Leovino Garcia, long a prominent figure in philosophy in our own part of the world and dean of the Loyola Schools at Ateneo de Manila University until recently, is the conference organizer. Jean Luc Marion, a revered name in the contemporary philosophical study of religion, will be the main plenary lecturer. Dr. Alfredo Co of the University of Santo Tomas will also be a plenary speaker. I will read a paper for one of the workshop sessions.

So what is this? A gathering of idle chatterers? It is the great misfortune of philosophy to be constantly put to work but seldom recognized for what it is. For some time, the sway that science and technology enjoyed over the discourse not only of academe but of the everyday world seemed to have banished philosophy to the fringes of worthwhile human concerns. Philosophers did not produce as scientists and mechanics did, therefore, they had little, if anything at all, to contribute to humankind. But we have learned better, I hope, and there has been disenchantment with science. Not that we do not need it, but that we realize its limits and the fact that it is not self-validating. Astounding developments have allowed the cloning of higher and higher orders of animalia. Cloning a human being seems to be just around the corner. But should we, ought we? It does not seem to belong to the province of science to provide an answer to such a threshold question.

There are different ways philosophers describe what it is they do. For some time, Aristotle’s distinction between proximate and ultimate causes seemed to offer a plausible ground for philosophizing. Pushing inquiry to its furthest limits in respect of anything at all—this seems to have been the insight underlying Aristotle’s claim of territory for philosophy: The ultimate causes and principles of things. We have not entirely rid ourselves of Aristotle’s spell, nor does it seem desirable to do so. Paleontologists and anthropologists have given us the progression of hominid species. At the end of the procession of fossil finds and genealogical trees, one is justified in asking: When did the human person first make his appearance? Immediately, the question strikes a different key and compels the thinker to shift gears. This is no longer a question to which an answer can be given by a closer examination of bones and artifacts. It is a question of what used to be called “the essence” of what it is to be human. What makes one human? Ayer once usefully suggested that unlike the scientist whose concern it is to unearth data, the philosopher is called upon to describe the facts made available. Do you call this interesting biped that asks questions, builds sophisticated habitation, ornaments and paints himself, and enters into interesting relations with others human or not? That is not a question that can be answered by more data. It is a question that calls on you to describe the data at hand.

Understood this way, it is not difficult to arrive at the realization that there is in fact so much philosophy that we do without acknowledging that we are doing it—and this is exactly why things can turn bad. If there is anything that can make a claim to global recognition, it is human rights. But what is it that makes the human person worthy of respect? More concretely, what are these and why should they be human rights? If bold claims are made for human rights, then quite obviously these questions cannot go unanswered, and such nebulous concepts as “inherent dignity” will not be left unexamined.

Talk to any youngster today about promiscuity, for example, as wrong and you will get the retort: “What is wrong to you may be right for me.” You Light Up My Life puts the philosophical position of many of today’s youngsters so succinctly: “It can’t be wrong if it feels so right.” To many, this is a good posture. What it is in fact is some form of relativism that is at best a highly questionable philosophical posture. At one time in my teaching career, one student complained that philosophy was abstract. I had to give him the disappointing answer that it was meant to be abstract and it is purposely abstract! That is of course no reason for a teacher of philosophy to turn students off by being deliberately incomprehensible—and this happens quite often when the teacher has not himself done good philosophy. He passes his own confusion to his students. But philosophy is in fact eminently practical in the sense that the way we live of our lives is a consequence of the philosophical positions we take. Loving another person unselfishly rests on the philosophical premise that it is meaningful and fulfilling to love. And it is philosophical reflection likewise that spurs us to ask whether it is in fact love with which I encounter the other, or one of its counterfeits. In fact, even the movement that goes by the moniker “postmodernism” has a significant social dimension to it. Whatever may be said against the articulations of its iconic figures, the distrust for what are called “meta-narratives” or pretensions at comprehensive accounts is in fact born of the recognition that putting on airs at giving an explanation for all things marginalized many others who had other explanations. The restiveness with which minorities, whether ethnic or religious, for example, make their presence felt is a consequence of the canonization of narratives and the confinement of others to the margins.

Philosophy is the reflective moment of humankind. It is that which allows us to distance ourselves from what we do and what we achieve. It is much-needed self-criticism. The passion for justice is vacuous without a thoughtful consideration of what justice is and what demands it makes. Similarly, in the philosophy of the law, while we have always believed that crime must be punished, it is worth our while asking how inflicting some detriment upon the offender—such as a loss of freedom or property (and in jurisdictions that still execute—life) makes society and life in society any better. I am not saying it does not. I only insist that the question should be raised and critically answered.

There is another tradition to philosophy—many times known as the analytic tradition. What it demands is that we be responsible about the terms we use and that we be able to give a logical account of the way we use them. If you label philosophy as “useless” for example, then you must be prepared with a logical account of what is “useful” and how philosophy fails this test.

It is a meeting of people with such concerns that will take place this September.

oh shucks

2008-08-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

here's to another eight days of dead-serious labor.

my 2-days of anxiety just ended after receiving an email that confirmed something major. perhaps the real reason why i had a li'l alcohol this evening is to get rid of the bad feeling when rejected or when tasked to carry on with something that i have done while overcoming a saturday-spree hangover (aside from the fact that i love and am so indebted to the one who encouraged me to do it, as in).

i just knew that i need alcohol before i check my email when i get home.

and yes, i got home at 1am after listening to 2 sets by noel cabangon and 2 bottles of beer. :) i checked my mail, and i've received my much awaited email. positive.

i really think i need a study leave.

Feast Day Post

2008-08-08T05:05:00.000+08:00

Let's go to the memory lane.

Batchmates from Dominican College San Juan since early elementary must be familiar about this song:

At the time of John Lackland, over England was the king
Dominic was in the backland fighting sin like anything.

Dominic oh Dominic! Over the land he plods along
And sings a little song
Never looking for reward, he just talks about the Lord
He just talks about the Lord.

that goes with this tune:

This song was the usual "package deal" of Amang Santo Domingo whenever we celebrate the Veritas Week. I still can remember how we were taught of this song (way back in Grade Four) by two nuns who got upset because of our noise. One of those nuns was Sr. Felicitas Toledo, who happened to be our Christian Living teacher and turned out to be one of my close friends in CRMSD. (anu na kayang nangyari dun? hehe)

I was reminded of the song because Father Rector (dela Rosa) mentioned of a song "Dominic" that topped the Billboard charts during the 1960s was composed by Jeanine Deckers, an ex-Dominican who became controversial because of her stand on contraception. This composer is said to have committed suicide in the 80s. She is known to the public as Soeur Soirire.

Curiosity led me to a little online research, and voila - sabi na nga ba. The song was originally in French (Dominique nique nique), although it was translated into English as how it was performed by Debbie Robinson in the old film The Singing Nun.

What happened to Jeanine Deckers was tragic. Read: http://learning2share.blogspot.com/2008/09/singing-nun-dominique-1982.html

Although this post is sad for a very happy day (walang pasok eh! hehe), let me greet all my fellows (dominicans, thomasians) a happy feast day.

familiar faces

2008-08-01T19:54:00.000+08:00

i've found an interesting website while developing a visual aid in philo of art.

http://www.vernix.org/marcel/people/

nice. :)

mga signos ng pagtanda (para sa mga anak ng dekada 80s)

2008-07-24T06:11:00.000+08:00

This post is lovingly dedicated to Ninong Bryan Bustamante... =)

------------------------
KNOW IF YOU'RE A CHILD OF THE 80s!

*kumakain ka ba ng aratilis?

*nagpipitpit ng gumamela para gawing soapy bubbles na hihipan mo sa binilog na tanggkay ng walis tingting?

*pinipilit ka ba matulog ng nanay mo pag hapon at di ka papayagan maglaro pag di ka natulog?

*marunong ka magpatintero, saksak puso, langit-lupa, teleber-teleber, luksong tinik, tatching raner, piko, luksong baka, chinese garter, tinikling, kalog na ang pusta ay kundi tansan ay eh balat ng kendi, pepsi cola 7up, batuhang bata, siyato?

*malupit ka pag meron kang atari, family computer or game n watch?

*alam mo ang silbi ng up, up, down, down, left,
right, left, right, a, b, a, b, start?

*may mga damit ka na U.S.E.D., Boy London, Cross Colors, Esprit, Blowing Bubbles, Pink Soda at pag nakakakita ka ng Bench na damit eh naalala mo si Richard Gomez?

*addict ka sa rainbow brite, carebears, my little pony, thundercats, bioman, voltes v, mazinger z, daimos, he-man, she-ra, tiger sharks, silver hawks, at marami pang cartoons na hindi pa translated sa tagalog?

*nanonood ka ng shaider kasi nabobosohan mo si annie at type na type mo ang puting panty nya?

*marunong ka mag wordstar at nakahawak ka na talaga ng 5.25 na floppy disk?

*inaabangan mo lagi ang batibot at akala mo magkakatuluyan si kuya bodgie at ate sienna...

*nung high school ka inaabangan mo lagi beverly hills 90210?

*gumagamit ka ng AQUANET para pataasin ang bangs mo?

*meron kang blouse na may padding kung babae ka at meron kang sapatos na mighty kid kung lalake ka?

*nangongolekta ka ng paper stationaries at mahilig ka magpapirma sa slumbook mo para lang malaman mo kung sino ang crush ng type mo?

*kilala mo si manang bola at ang sitsiritsit girls?
e si luning-ning at luging-ging?

*alam mo ibig sabihin ng time space warp at di mo makakalimutan ang time space warp chant?

*idol mo si McGyver at nanonood kang perfect strangers at Night Rider?

*eto malupet... six digits lang ba ang phone number nyo dati?

*nakakatawag ka pa sa pay phone ng 3 bentesingko lang ang dala?

*cute pa si aiza seguerra sa eat bulaga at alam mo ang song na "eh kasi bata"?

*inabutan mo ba na ang Magnolia Chocolait eh nasa glass bottle pa na ginagawang lalagyan ng tubig ng nanay mo sa ref?

*palagi ka'ng nag-aabang ng tindero ng taho o kaya nama'y yakult tuwing umaga?

*dumadaan sa lugar nyo ang mga tindero / tindera ng puto/kutchinta, tinapa/daing, ripir sapatus-payung?

*meron kang pencil case na maraming compartments na pinagyayabang mo sa mga kaklase mo?

*noon mo pa hinahanap kung saan ang Goya Fun Factory?

*alam mo lyrics ng "tinapang bangus" at "alagang-alaga namin si puti"?

*alam mo ang kantang "gloria labandera".. lumusong sha sa tubig ang paa ay nabasa at ang "1, 2, 3, asawa ni marie"... hehehehehe?

*sosyal ka pag may play-doh ka at Lego... at nag-iipon ka ng G.I. Joe action figures at iba pa ang mukha ni barbie noon?

*inabutan mo pa yung singkong korteng bulaklak at yung diyes na square?

*lumaki kang bobo dahil ang akala mo nangangagat talaga ang alimango sa kantang tong-tong-tong... diba naninipit yun?

*alam mo yung kwento ng pari na binigyan ng pera yung batang umakyat ng puno para bumili ng panty... and shempre, alam mo rin ba kung ano binigay nya sa nanay nung umakyat ng puno?

*meron kang kabisadong kanta ni andrew e na alam mo hanggang ngayon.. aminin?

*laging lampin ang sinasapin sa likod mo pag pinapawisan ka?

*bumibili ka ng tarzan, texas, karamel, mr. singko, pulburun, chicharong lapad, tira-tira, at bazooka bubble gum, at yung kending bilog na sinawsaw sa asukal?

*kinukupit mo pa at nanonood ka ng mga porno tapes ng tatay mo na nasa BETAMAX format pa... at sanay ka tawagin ang porn as BOLD?

*takot ka dumating ang year 2000 dahil sabi nla magugunaw daw ang mundo?

KUNG ALAM MO ANG ILAN DITO LAGPAS KA NA NG 25 YEARS OLD...

KAPAG HALOS LAHAT ALAM MO, NASA 33-40 KA...

WAG KA NA MAG DENY.. TUMAWA KA NA LANG...

DIBA .75 CENTAVOS PA LANG PAMASAHE SA JEEP NUN AT MAS
MASARAP ANG MELLOW YELLOW KESA MOUNTAIN DEW?

when silence means yes

2008-07-22T06:05:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: Just a reflection.

Here's a petit-note from the Venerable Master this morning:

Dear Mother Goose and the rest,

I was just just responding to your predicament on when to meet when I proposed there should be a free morning on the 23 because of the USTFU General Assembly at 8.00 am??? So I proposed 23 July I will be in UST Ars and Ketters Faculty room at 6,20 am. I suggested if you are agreeable, we can have a very early breakfast meeting at UST McDo. One can reserve a place another can come to pick me up at the faculty room.

There was no response, so let us just agree WE MEET that day 23 July Wednesday and proceed as proposed. Someone come for me on his way to McDo.

I do not know what will happen tomorrow but I am counting that the silent group will be there tomorrow in full force.

I cordially replied to Dr. Co's message saying that I will comply (even if it means getting up at 5 in order to be at UST in 6.15). I agreed because I know that opposition must have been done earlier. And as a leader to some other projects, I also sympathize with the terrible feeling when his/her messages are not replied to.

I've had my share of this terrible thing weeks back. And I am oftentimes misconstrued as ust-philo's little miss bibba, am usually given the task of being everybody's official checklist and mother-clucking-hen. With a terrible conscience-bugging (hastened with a little Levinasian brainwashing), I do my job just as how I accepted it -- eager but uncertain, determined yet trembling. While I do not have any problem dealing with my groupmates, I still painfully go through the deliberation of the best approach: if I should do my follow-ups like a nagging mom or a crybaby; with a saintly plea or a throbbing command of a dominatrice. I oftentimes end up making my messages sound like an official and formal announcement (which i find safest) -- composed after 20 minutes of deliberation, with hopes that my message isn't bugging peaceful lives, and a prayer that everybody will cordially reply.

And oftentimes, I get silence.

I could but smile when Dr. Co decided to implement his suggestion. With him dropping the last word, I know that nobody will even dare to complain. Now I wonder how this system proceeds in petit-groups, or in teams that lack a seasoned-authority -- will silence still mean yes? I am trained by the Venerable Master (read back: SPLICE!) where text messages are sent as early as 5am, deadlines are given 3 days away and graceful patience is required for every tedious task because weeks of effort is irrelevant to any better concept. Yes, a accomplished work can be slashed out in the holy name of "excellence".

The Quadricentennial Philosophy Project is an example of a terribly interrupted work -- after a bleeding semester and summer break -- while putting more important and personal tasks aside (dissertation, read: my labor day post), it has been shelved. It must have been a waste of time and effort, save for a thousand and more that I have learned from the Venerable Master, lessons on leadership included.

Going back to non-replies.

I guess there is something that any leader would like to plead. Please dont just open your communication lines, use them. Reply, complain, suggest, react, appreciate, get upset...just speak. God knows how your leaders trying to be "humane" whenever they do follow-ups. I have once boasted to Jonathan how I made "taray" at the y!groups -- kaso hindi pa rin daw eh.

To my teammates, God knows how I so love you.

i like...

2008-07-15T06:17:00.000+08:00

a laptop skin and...

a nikon d40!

celebrate!

2008-07-06T17:27:00.000+08:00

KRITIKE turns one!

http://www.kritike.org to view the third issue.

Kudos to the team, especially to koya pao whose dreams made it all happen.

Cheers! =)

furthermore...

2008-07-06T06:07:00.000+08:00

The title's a redundancy, but I guess it's meant to be like that for emphasis -- since further means to proceed (hence, an action) and more is an issue of quantity.

And so what's the big fuzz? Well, it's the philosopher's disease -- to distinguish.

I'm writing this to express how I've been doing thus far --- after the first quarter of the year and after the summer break. And despite everything that was hurled to me, i could not be but thankful. My gratitude to my every heartbreak, for making me return to where I should be, and for making me realize that I am perhaps really meant for a greater yet humbling task. Thanks for freeing me from my trivial pursuits. Thanks likewise to my superiors who gave me many things to do - it helped me forget. What I've done somehow gave a certain sense of renewal. Thanks for helping me rebuild my dreams. Thanks to those whom I should really think of, thanks for resurfacing and touching my conscience. Thanks for taking me out.

Thanks likewise to good friends who taught me that there's always something to smile about. For the good times and even for the futile attempts to make a sad friend laugh. For the violent threats (tulad ng pagkaladkad sa akin sa patilya at pagbitin sa akin sa puno) just to straigthen me up (as if I've been a blacksheep, hehe). To friends from afar who have been pledging their prayers, to those who check on me from time to time even if schedules and phone signals sometimes do not permit -- i truly appreciate.

As always, life is never easy; but I think this is far better. Perhaps Im really meant to do difficult tasks and to feel its gravity because it deserves my utmost care. I may not be prepared yet to face my ghosts and I can no longer erase bad memories. I'm praying for the grace of forgiveness. I'm praying that things will be fine (even if it might be the same again) by the time I meet all of them once more.

Oh yes, with everything in my hands (and most of which, I actually asked for) -- I think I'm going further and more. I really don't know what's there at the end of the road, but what the heck, it's far better than being stuck and sulking.

And of course, thanks to God - for just being there.

28 june 08 - mark this date!

2008-06-29T07:18:00.000+08:00

It was on 28 June 2008

when I tried to conquer my being enrooted.

when I had my first sleepover.
when I had my first nightout (and had myself almost drunk)... in a skirt. (HAHA)

...when I've had all of these without having a hard time getting permission from my folks (because they are left with no other choice).

The feeling is liberating.

Well, paminsan lang naman. =)

GIRL!

2008-06-23T08:31:00.000+08:00

okay, so this is a bobo-post. (hehe)

uy girl! kelan ba tayo magkakape?
girl, didja get my mail???
hay naku girl, umuwi na tayo.
miss you girl! mwah.

Call it subjective, but there's something that i find really irritating about that expression. While it takes over the usual terms of endearment among soul-sisters like bakla, lola, ate, friend and sis (and they're all okay to me) -- I find this new one kind of redundant and exaggerating (haha).

While I don't have to make any justification... basta lang, para talagang may mali. (Hehe)

the lilies of the field and the birds of the air

2008-06-22T10:33:00.000+08:00

This beautiful prayer was the usual opening of our Levinas class last semester under Dr. Leovino Garcia.
Credits to Jonathan. =)

FROM THE LILIES AND THE BIRDS LET US LEARN

Father in Heaven, when the spring is come,

everything in nature returns in new freshness and beauty,

the lilies and the birds have lost nothing of their charm--oh,

that we also might return to the instruction of these teachers!

Ah, but if in the time that has elapsed we have lost our health,

would we might regain it by learning again

from the lilies of the field and the birds of the air!

the blogger's block

2008-06-20T19:31:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to write about how things have been for the past few days, but I was not able to put up even a single entry. My thoughts revolved on the following:

- The joys and pains of writing a dissertation.
- The joys and pains of an MWF sked and of being a library bummer every TTh.
- How it is to lose and gain... and lose... and gain... and be scared of losing again... (haha!) a research hideout.
- The bothersome effect of the idea that age supersedes competence. (Enter Levinas' principle of separation and the father giving space to the child)
- Moving forward to a better task and the possibility of going back to a long lost dream.
- Staying friends and keeping in touch with other people you have learned to set free.
- How a sacrifice becomes a form of prayer, and how it works especially if you're praying for another person's intention.
- The fatal combination of lie-telling and boasting.

I'd really love to elaborate, but I just can't. I hope that the block will just remain here, since there are more important things to write. =)

Que est amour?

2008-06-12T04:57:00.000+08:00

The annual French Film Festival as part of the celebration of the French Spring in Manila opened last night at the Shangri-la Mall Cineplex with the banner film "Un baiser, s'il vous plait?" (Shall we kiss?). For this year, the event's theme is on love, and screenings will be from 12 June to 22 June 2008.

first sem is for the dungeons!

2008-06-10T16:48:00.000+08:00

An MWF of 9:00am to 6/9:00pm, with the first hour, and the last three hours to be spent for teaching. Then Saturday's for tumbling, with the morning for French and afternoon for a major subject.

I'll be having big breaks in between and that only sends me back to my favorite hideouts. This leaves me with no choice -- the sem should be productive.

Ready, game, FIGHT!

-----------
POST-SCRIPTS (chikaminute!)
- Rev. Fr. Rolando dela Rosa, OP had just been installed as the 95th Rector of the University of Santo Tomas, after the Misa de Apertura held early this morning. Let us pray for the success of his term.
- Two good friends had just been ordained to the priesthood. Let's pray for them. =)
- AB Philo alumni Tracy, Imon, Paeng and Joel (uhhh, who else) are adding up to the Gradschool Family. Masaya na naman tayo nito! =)

doodles

2008-06-06T18:22:00.000+08:00

Written sometime in 2006 (or 2007), found these on a dirty paper during a general room cleaning.
How could I have written these?
Ang ganda ah! (hahaha, pinuri ang sarili) Ambigat, haha.
----------------------------------------------------------

Yaong pigil sa tabil ng dilang madulas ang siyang magpapalayo sa aking kalooban. Bagaman nais kitang sigawan, dasal ko pa ring naiintindihan mo ang tahimik kong pakiusap.

Kung may paraan lang sanang maghilom – gagawin ko iyon kahit na mag-isa. Ngunit di kita kayang iwaksi.

Marahil isa ka nga sa mga pinakamabuti ngunit pinakamahirap liripin. Batid kong dapat kang panindigan, ngunit ang bigat mong dalhin. Sinubukan ko, pero tila yata nabigo. Sumugal ako, pero mahina akong makipaglaro – nang buong puso at lakas, ngunit mahina pa rin.

Kung maari lang sanang huwag magkubli sa bawat panahong pinipilit kong lumimot at magkunwari. Ngunit kailangang maging tapat, aanihim mo akong lito at wasak? Sa pagiging tapat, hindi ko rin pwede masabi ang lahat.

Alam kong may paraan ka upang malaman ang mga nais sabihin kahit ng aking mga mat Unawain mo sana ang di ko mapaliwanag na pagdurusa. Alam mo yun, alam ko. Di lang siguro natin (pwedeng) masabi.
Patawad sa katahimikan, patawad sa paglisan.

patay tayo dyan!

2008-06-01T18:07:00.000+08:00

The Binalbagan Scandal (a family video)
15 May 2008
Binalbagan, Negros Occidental

Congrats to kuya ron for courageously uploading THE video. Lagot ka kay tekla. Hahaha.

philosophers, KINDLY READ!

2008-05-27T16:51:00.000+08:00

I am reposting a repost of a repost.
This is from the 26 May 2008 issue of the Manila Standard Today.

- i have a couple of comments on the side, and most of them are affirmative. it would require another blog post.

- credits to Ilaw my apo and Jun Arvie my stage-brother for sharing. =)

THE ECLIPSE OF PHILOSOPHY IN THE UNIVERSITY CURRICULUM

By Fr. Ranhilio Callangan Aquino

In a few weeks, that which many students dread will happen—the opening of the new school year. Despite spiraling costs of tertiary education, many will flock to our universities and colleges with differing degrees of enthusiasm and aptitude and, so the common thinking goes, after four years or so, they will be qualified for employment. Courses used to be simple and the choices few. They are now as many and as diverse as the imaginativeness of curriculum planners.

Recently, I had for a guest Dr. Julius Mendoza of UP Baguio, a friend from seminary days, and his lovely wife, also a UP professor. Julius and I have philosophy in common, besides of course Maryhurst Seminary. Besides, we had both been to Louvain University. He attended Louvain for his doctorate; I was there as a research fellow. We talked about how hard times had fallen on philosophy and how it was gradually being eased out of the curriculum. In the standard college course, logic is no longer required, and ethics takes the form of professional ethics subjects—that dreary subject consisting of a pseudo-academic treatment of the customs and traditions of a profession or disappears altogether. Philosophy as a separate program will now be found mostly in seminaries only, and in those institutions where it remains, it is often diluted to the point of insipidity: Philosophy and human resource development, philosophy and social analysis—perhaps even philosophy and culinary arts!

In many cases, Julius and I agreed that it was the philosophy instructors themselves who had given philosophy a bad name and hastened its demise. When a philosophy class becomes a pointless introduction to a procession of strange names and strange theories, then there is hardly any point to it. When you ask a student what knowledge is, and all he can give you for four years work of philosophy is that Descartes said and Hume said and Locke said and Kant said and the phenomenologists said and Rorty said, there is hardly any sense in that. One has earned a degree as a purveyor of oddities! In many cases, philosophy instructors passed on to the students what they themselves failed to grasp properly, leaving in their wake students confused, befuddled and utterly turned off with this introduction to philosophy. And so it is that the glorious heritage that has enriched humankind from Mohenjo Daro, Harappa and Greece to Nietzsche, Heidegger, Ricoeur, Habermas and Rorty of our days has gone the way of obsolescence in large measure because of its supposed votaries.

These days, it is frequently said, people are practical. But of course they are, and people have always been practical. But we are human precisely because the practical is the fruit as well as the catalyst of reflection, and philosophy is, in its fundamentals, reflection on human experience. It is what lends depth and breadth, coherence and sublimity to being human. And ever so often, we are taught the precious lesson that in matters of greatest importance, what proves to be most practical is a good theory, and good theories cannot come from those who have never indulged in the habit of theorizing! What preoccupies the cow is the patch of grass before him, offering a next bite, a next meal! What preoccupies the human person is what all this means, including eating, loving, studying and dying. Are these not the questions that humanize us, the questions that make human history what it is? If you do not want to call it philosophy (either because you were traumatized by your philosophy instructor or have difficulty spelling the word) call it by some other name, but it will still be philosophy. Lonergan once so insightfully wrote: When a dog has nothing to do, it falls asleep; when a person has nothing to do, he asks questions. And certainly, among the questions he asks are questions of philosophy. He can of course dismiss these questions as impertinent—and that in effect is what a university curriculum does when it evicts philosophy from its premises—but they will persist and they will stubbornly rear their heads because they are the questions by which we mark ourselves as human. We can develop the habit of smothering all philosophical inclination, but that will not make us any more successful at technology and science. If anything at all, it can only enervate the soul and impoverish the human spirit.

The philosopher provokes questions. The survey of philosophers and their philosophies is not the main thing; it is at most only ancillary. It is hoped that by attending to what thinkers wrote and said, each might be able to fashion some coherent answer to these perennial questions. And so it should be a most interesting study. Is it not worth everyone’s while to know what we live for, or should we dismiss that as an idle concern and just go on with the business of living? Leaving it unanswered condemns us to a daily grind without sense of purpose or worth. Ever so often, we invoke grand concepts—justice, democracy, freedom, human dignity. But these are all philosophically laden. So, why dismiss the serious and systematic inquiry into the very concepts in which we seek refuge? When a rally is broken up by law enforcers, we cry “freedom.” If we disdain philosophy, we should refrain from crying “freedom” because we have no right to use that which we cannot be clear about.

The fact is that we do philosophy—in varying degrees of satisfactoriness. Is it not common to shrug of moral precepts today with the ubiquitous refrain: “Times have changed.” That of course is a philosophical posture, and one of doubtful validity. When we convince ourselves that we can be anything, we choose to be provided, we work hard at getting to it, are we not in fact taking a very bold, if not unwarranted, philosophical position? Philosophy is taught poorly because there are not enough properly trained philosophy professors—and that is a matter of institutional and societal attitude. But whether we acknowledge it or not, we philosophize! And now for the pesky—but quotidian concern about “life after graduation.” In the first place, taking an “employable” course is no guarantee of employment. I know engineers who have become nurses! But the philosophy graduate is an eminently “trainable” person precisely because philosophy has prepared him for an understanding of himself, of others and of his world that gives him the aptitude for whatever it might be that he has to do.

philosophers, KINDLY READ!

2008-05-27T16:50:00.000+08:00

By Fr. Ranhilio Callangan Aquino

for an answered prayer

2008-05-21T11:19:00.000+08:00

i shall sing like Daniel and his friends.

Daniel 3:52,53,54,55,56

R. (52b) Glory and praise for ever!
Blessed are you, O Lord, the God of our fathers,
praiseworthy and exalted above all forever;
And blessed is your holy and glorious name,
praiseworthy and exalted above all for all ages.
R. Glory and praise for ever!
Blessed are you in the temple of your holy glory,
praiseworthy and glorious above all forever.
R. Glory and praise for ever!
Blessed are you on the throne of your kingdom,
praiseworthy and exalted above all forever.
R. Glory and praise for ever!
Blessed are you who look into the depths
from your throne upon the cherubim,
praiseworthy and exalted above all forever.
R. Glory and praise for ever!

two nights before take-off

2008-05-07T21:10:00.000+08:00

All my bags are still unpacked, and I’m not yet ready to go.

Going home by plane is not something to be excited about but that idea leads me to think of being “uprooted”. I am enthralled by the idea of being liberated from the bondage of the soil, from being stuck to a place.

I have always wondered why jumping gives a natural high, and why high altitude is oftentimes associated to happiness; and why some even dream of being able to fly . During the recent PAP conference, I jumped on a trampoline with some friends (pare, di yun tarpaulin ha. hehe) and it somehow allayed a very heavy feeling. (Given that, is it then more fun to be a bird??? Haha!) Perhaps, this is because of a natural longing to go against what binds us to the ground. Hah! Gravity! That principle has a way of making the soil claim the truth, enslaving us all.

By that it’s just nice to think that I shall glide to a place by being free from a place. And though it’ll end and it’s bound to bring me elsewhere; it is a chance to be free – not in the sense of being unrestricted but by being relieved from the worries of purposes and ends. For that hour, I’ll claim my jouissance – I’ll prove that gravity cannot have a greedy and exclusive claim of telos.

That for some time, one could just be happy, even without being able to explain why. Sometimes, seeking for an explanation is a burden (especially if it is not that necessary).

For that hour, there’ll be supremacy of space over soil. For that hour, truth will be happily nomadic.

And on a more intimate note; perhaps, at that little moment, I’ll be miles closer to God. Perhaps – just perhaps, my prayers shall be heard more. Or perhaps, it’ll be a chance for me to hear Him better.

thus whined fleurdeliz (labor day edition)

2008-05-01T05:56:00.000+08:00

And so this is summer.

Thus whined Fleurdeliz. Labor day naman eh! =)

I spent my April organizing a major event, redo-ing French (M2), and beating deadlineS for "the" university 2011 philosophy project. Although it is also in this month when I was able to submit my revised proposal, I regret “stealing” the time that I should have spent for reading and writing. On the second thought, focusing just on my phd research would also be stifling. But I guess, it’s the most liberating thing that I could do as of now. I’d like to do my work at home (in solitude); or perhaps away from home, prolly in a coffeeshop or patio where I’m free from the usual hustles and bustles in the household, and my mom reminding me of my posture when I am reading or in front of the computer. (It’s just sad to realize how I’ve been a slave to my work, adults and my “planner” -- I love them all, really. It's just that I am seeking for a little liberation. Hehe.)

In between breaks, I daydream of being in a cold place where I can do my “existential walks” – think of good stuff, create a mindmap at least for a chapter, and pray while not whining to God about bad stuff and being reminded that my heart is broken.

I long to see God’s grandeur while not convincing myself to find it amidst the piles of papers, while running to and fro libraries, offices and banks and trying my darned-best to please anybody else. I’m going home to Bacolod for a week on the second week of May but I’m dead sure that visiting relatives and tagging along to places since you have to comply to some people’s plans for you would make it just another busy week.

For the first time in my life, I want to stay away from home. For the first time in my philo-life, I want to get rid of coffee. I need a detox, I want to sleep. I want to stay in a hermitage – kahit isa-dalawang linggo lang.

While everybody’s enjoying the sun, in the middle of summer. Here I am in a nook of my home, doing some archival work and beating a press deadline (on a Labor Day)… and whining. Pa-sweldo naman jan, Lord!

Just like any other rant, this too shall pass.

to bored philo students/fresh graduates (classified ads)

2008-04-28T07:53:00.000+08:00

I am in (desperate) need of 2-3 ENCODERS who are

- willing to do VOLUNTEER work.
- capable of beating the 8may2008 deadline for 3 sets of spanish article (to be typed with proper accents)
- can work under my supervision till 30april at the jp2-rces office (at 3rd flr. tarc, 10am-5pm), the articles can be taken home should you wish to work in the evenings and from 1-8 may 2008.
- "happy" to be compensated by:
a. unlimited office coffee (brewed eto, don't worry.. hehehe) or halo-halo/ice cream (negotiable)
b. minimal transpo allowance (let's talk about this.)

Interested people may contact me through my mobile number. You can also pm/hit the comment box at my multiply account.

Thanks.

berso sa metro

2008-04-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

Matagal na rin akong di nakakasakay ng metro mula noong lisanin ko ang dating kuta sa Ortigas. Dati kasi, apat na beses akong sumasakay sa isang linggo. Madalas, hindi magandang karanasan ang pagsakay ng tren – hindi yata masayang magmadali papuntang istasyon, upang habulin ang pinakamaagang biyahe; makipila sa mahabang linya ng tao sa token machine (salamat sa stored-value card), tumayo (ng nakahigh-heels, karay ang bag, envelope, at kung mamalasin – ang higanteng laptop), bumalanse sa bawat preno; makipagsiksikan sa pagbaba upang lumipat sa isa pang tren, maranasan ang parehong bagay at maglakad ng pagkalayu-layo – (habang karay ang bag, envelope at kung mamalasin – ang higanteng laptop. – hmm, pwedeng gawing kanta)

Masalimuot ang pagsakay sa tren maliban na lamang kung maluwag, pwedeng maupo at mabibigyan ng pagkakataon na bumunot ng libro para magbasa.

Kanina papuntang Ateneo, nakasakay muli ako ng metro. Naswertehan kong di siksikan sa tren dahil maaga pa. Gayunpaman, pinili ko na lamang na tumayo. Sa maikling biyahe mula Pureza hanggang Katipuna’y nagkaroon ako ng panahon magmasid sa paligid. Nahagap ang aking atensyon ng mga nakasulat doon sa taas na bahagi kung saan madalas nakalagay ang mga print ads,

¿Què es la vida?, un frenesi?
¿què es la vida?, una sombra, una ficciòn,
y el mayor bien es pequeno:
que toda la vida es sueño,
Y los sueños, sueños son.
- Pedro Calderon de la Barca, La Vida es Sueño

HINDI KO NAHULI ANG SALIN. Pero subukan natin: (errhm, effort)

Ano ang buhay? Isang paglinlang?
Ano ang buhay? Isang panaginip, isang ilusyong
mas mabuti ang higit sa maliit – (pwede ring: mas higit ang mabuti sa kasinungalingan)
Ang buhay ay isang ilusyon
at ang ilusyo’y mananatiling ilusyon.

***

Ríete de la noche,
del día, de la luna,
ríete de las calles
torcidas de la isla,
ríete de este torpe
muchacho que te quiere,
pero cuando yo abro
los ojos y los cierro,
cuando mis pasos van,
cuando vuelven mis pasos,
niégame el pan, el aire,
la luz, la primavera
pero tu risa nunca
porque me moriría.
- Pablo Neruda, Tu Risa

SALIN:
Pagtawanan mo ang gabi,
ang araw, ang buwan
Pagtawanan mo ang liku-likong
landas sa isla,
Pagtawanan mo ang torpeng
lalaking ito na nagmamahal sa iyo,
Ngunit kapag bubuksan ko
at isasara ang aking mga mata,
Kapag ako ay umalis,
kapag ako ay muling bumalik
Ipagkait mo na sa akin ang tinapay,
ang hangin, ang liwanag at ang tagsibol,
Huwag lamang ang iyong ngiti
Dahil ito’y aking ikasasawi

***

Si alguna la vida te maltrata
Acuerdate de mi
Que no puede cansarse de esperar
Aquel que no se cansa de mirarte.
- Luis Garcia Montero, Habitaciones Separadas

SALIN:
Kung sakaling malupit sa iyo ang kapalaran
Alalahanin mo ako
Dahil hindi mapapagod sa paghihintay
itong walang sawang tumitingin sa iyo..

***

Nabighani ako sa mga tula, lalo na sa mga salin. Marami pa akong nabasa dahil umuusad ako sa bawat hinto ng tren. Kung nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na kunan ng litrato ang mga ito (bagaman bawal), ang saya-saya siguro. Hindi bago sa akin ang pagbabasa, ngunit sa pagkakataong ito, nagising ang aking nahihimlay na pag-ibig sa panitikan.

Masaya ako dahil nakakita ako ng tilamsik ng sining sa loob ng isang lugar na kung saan madalas magmadali ang mga tao. Nakakatuwa, isa pala itong promotional material for reading ng Instituto Cervantes na nagmula noong October 2007. Sana lang, maraming tao ang magkaroon ng panahon upang magmasid.

Sana magkaroon ako ng panahon upang sumakay muli ng metro. May mapagkakaabalahan na sa biyaheng Recto hanggang Santolan. =)

Deus Ex Machina

2008-04-21T21:31:00.000+08:00

· It has been almost a year when I got rid of our broadband subscription. After eight months, we are again wired (sorry, dsl eh) thanks to Mama’s prodding (aba’y akalain nating…!). Yes, and again I have all the means to be online, but perhaps it won’t be like how it was before.

· While I thought that I can bum around this summer, I was again very wrong. It could be true that busy is already an understatement. With all the tasks to be accomplished, her haggardness could only wish that she will be able to finish at least two chapters of her real project.

· I’m thankful that things are pretty much lighter now as compared to the past three weeks. Sure I’m still dealing with many other things, but these are way bearable now. I couldn’t forget how the gradschool gang helped me specially during the National Conference. Their help and company truly made a difference. I owe each of them bigtime.

· You can still be surprised about things that are expected.

· The mind can’t contain everything and so one can’t be arrogant of being capable to troubleshoot just about anything. Not that man becomes a miniscule moron in front of an integral cosmic put-up, but the infinity of possibilities sometimes prevent us from seeing what could truly be at hand. Hehe, I’d like to believe that St. Thomas’ generic final solution is just apt, “a cold shower, good sleep, and just letting the problem solve itself.”

· When you seem to have assumed a burden that is not actually by your own doing; and that nothing else can be done because you’ve already given your all -- don’t worry, you have all the right to just leave it all to the hands of another: to God, fate or any cosmological principle. In the long run, things shall fall into place. DEUS EX MACHINA – perhaps, just like how writers kill the noble-contrabidas.

· Breathe Altez, Breathe. =)

to the slackers

2008-04-01T17:04:00.000+08:00

Seeing the UST AB Philo Class 08 graduate yesterday made me recall how I started. Tempus fugit! I remember my first rollcall to this class during their Introduction to Philosophy class as a substitute teacher for Sir Reyes – I asked each of them, “why philo?” Then after everybody has answered, a welcome address, “welcome to hell.”

Hehe. Somebody confessed that they hated me for that, but perhaps they’re just too young then to realize that it was also a self-welcome address. But now I ask, had it really been hell for them? Had it really been hell for me?

Perhaps yes and no.

Why yes? I’ve walked out from this class for a couple of times. Maingay ang klaseng ito. I’ve called them “slackers” which was eventually converted as a term of endearment. There was a never schoolyear when I was not assigned to be their teacher at least in a subject. I thought that I could get away when I refused to be their research coordinator (kids, read: refused – hehe, I have my dissertation). But the truth is, my conscience bugged me. I should not have done that, and perhaps any close observer would know the repercussions. (no pun intended) Good thing, they’re blessed with good people to help them. Nonetheless, I was assigned to teach Aesthetics and then Existentialism. I never got away from them.

And why no? Because we have shared so many things while growing together. Because in that process, I’ve learned to love them. We’ve seen each others’ struggles – I’ve seen them grow and try hard to pass every subject, while they see me running around classrooms, libraries and research offices (my advisees must have already memorized my hideouts!). We must have already listened to each others’ heartaches, laughed, cried and drank together.

Now I shall miss Paeng’s lectures, Joey’s announcements, Joel being haggard and harassed, the athletes (being late), the ex-OPs who are seemingly silent (pero ang ingay pala), the right column girls (Nina, Paola, Tetay, Andee), Gino’s noise, Mark’s business deals, the Paeng-Shane rivalry/loveteam, Gozi’s multimedia, Margrein’s questions, Gay my little girl from Narvacan, Aina the Artist, Jang and her panic attacks, Rubelo and Jireh's jokes, Joachim's grand entrances. Hayh. Mamimiss ko rin pala. Hahaha.

I must have been too busy to miss so many things but I hope that they’ll bear in mind that I’m always with them. May their idealisms and aspirations never falter, and may they always remember the values that we have learned together out of the little things that we have discussed. The world outside the baccalaureate realm is harder and even if I know that some would still opt to pursue an academic life, be tough because life won’t be easy from this day on. Be strong, graceful and virtuous.

Like a parent who must give space to his/her child, carry on the task that you have imbibed. You do not have to give back, since it would be better if you give it to others. Should you decide to return, perhaps for a little rest, or perhaps to grow more, or fine, if you would really like to give it back to our Alma Mater – you’re always welcome.

See you soon, and hopefully at the Graduate School.

atorni

2008-03-29T15:54:00.000+08:00

kudos to the new attorneys

Myra Jennifer D. Jaud
Guyla A. Vista
all from Arts and Letters Batch 2003.

and to other thomasians and friends who passed the 2007 Bar Examinations (Bam Clara, Eldric Peredo and to the rest of Class 03).

a funny guilt

2008-03-25T15:35:00.000+08:00

The feeling is novel.

Ever experienced feeling strangely embarassed for having done something that is supposed to be ordinary in front of somebody who is just ordinary? Or perhaps, the act wasnt really ordinary (at least for me) that's why i felt so bad about it.

I feel bad, yet at the same time funny. (haha, they can go together pala)

Kakaiba.

now, a timely post

2008-03-21T13:19:00.000+08:00

prayers by Soren Kierkegaard

YOU ARE NEAR

We are grateful that You are present everywhere, O God. You are near should anyone call upon You from a bed of sickness, or cry out in great need upon the sea. All are drawn to seek You, the Friend of the thankful, the Consolation of the weak, the Refuge of the anxious, the Confidante of the suffering as You count their tears, the Comfort of the dying. We are grateful that You give Your gifts to everyone who needs them.

CONFIDENCE IN YOU

Dear Deathless Power in each atom, amoeba, and galaxy;
And also within each teacher, parent, and child:
Our thought is turned toward You
As we seek You with the sureness of a homeward bound bird.

Our confidence in You would be no momentary leap,
No unproductive birth pangs nor waterless clouds;
But from the fullness of our hearts, our hopes arise toward You,
Quenching our thirst and giving life’s noblest satisfaction.

YOU HAVE LOVED US FIRST

Great Companion, You have loved us first.
May we never forget that You are love,
So that this sure conviction might triumph in our hearts
Over the whirling of the world,
Over the inquietude of the soul,
Over the anxiety for the future,
Over the fright of the past,
Over the distress of the moment.
May this conviction discipline our soul
So that our hearts might remain faithful and sincere
In the love which we bear to all those we love as ourselves.

and my favorite...

THE COURAGE TO HOPE

God, give me once more the courage to hope.
Fertilize my barren mind.
Let me hope again.

a very untimely post

2008-03-21T13:04:00.000+08:00

just when "wasak" is about to be a household term (at least at the gradschool). let's save the brewrats show.

http://savebrewrats.tk/

thanks. =)

JESUS AND THE DISCIPLE

2008-03-15T09:17:00.000+08:00

Copy-pasted from Kuya Rai's multiply blog.

Peter and the gang (haha), and to those who think that they're not worthy.
This one's for you.

JESUS AND THE DISCIPLE
Ryan Jose Mendoza, SJ

(from my 8-day retreat 2006)

It was a wind-blasted winter evening, close to midnight, and the doors of the apartment were locked. Inside the disciple was eating popcorn and riffling through the Gospels. He was reading at top speed, flipping pages, hoping a word, a sentence, a story would make him stop. He was looking for something, but he wasn’t sure what it was.

Suddenly Jesus appeared and sat down in the chair opposite to him. The disciple blanched. He shook his head, rubbed his eyes, looked away and looked back. Jesus stubbornly stayed put. Finally, Jesus said, “got anything to eat?”

“I get it,” said the disciple. “That’s what you did after you rose. When the disciples thought you were a ghost, you asked for something to eat. It reassured them that you were real.”

“I was hungry. What is this stuff?”

“Popcorn.” The disciple passed the bowl over to Jesus. “Try some, Lord.” he said; and the words sounded absolutely ludicrous. He consoled himself with the thought that he didn’t say, “Mister Lord.”

Jesus took one piece of popcorn and looked at it as though he were examining a diamond with an eyepiece.

“Wonderful shape,” Jesus said; “and each one is just different. I like them.”

The disciple became uneasy. He never heard popcorn referred as “them”. And how much did he know he liked them if he hadn’t tasted them?

Jesus put one piece in his mouth and chewed it carefully for close to minute. The disciple grabbed a handful.

“Not enough salt,” Jesus finally said.

“Salt is not good for you,” warned the disciple.

“I was always one for a lot of salt,” said Jesus. “Hey! Jesus raised his finger in the air like he was about to give a teaching. “Has anyone tried putting butter on this stuff?”

“It’s been done. But butter is not good for you either.”

“You are a very careful person,” said Jesus.

“Thanks,” said the disciple. “Here, have some more.” The disciple raised the bowl of popcorn off the table and offered it to Jesus.

“No thanks.”

“You are the only person I know who can eat only one piece of popcorn and stop.”

“Of course. I’m God,” Jesus said, and laughed.

The disciple did tried his best to chuckle.

“How come when you eat popcorn?” Jesus said as he stroked his chin, “you try to get as much into your mouth as possible and it spills out, and you have to pick it off your shirt, and put it back to your mouth?”

“Oh God, I knew this was going to happen.”

“Why does everybody say that when I’m around?” asked Jesus, a bit irritated. “What did you know was going to happen?”

“You notice everything and make remarks.”

“Don’t you like to be noticed?”

“As a matter of fact I don’t.”

The disciple closed his eyes. When he opened them, Jesus was still there, smiling.

“Why did you come?”

“To teach you how to eat popcorn.” Jesus looked pleased with himself.]

The disciple looked down at the bowl of popcorn on the table. “Are you going to toy with me?” he said haughtily.

“I am not toying with you. I always come to see what is lost; and when people are searching through my story at midnight like it was a medicine cabinet. It is usually a sign that they are lost.”

Like hell I’m lost!” the disciple shouted.

“Like hell you’re not!” Jesus shouted back.

Their eyes locked. The disciple was first to look away.

“It’s a mild case of midlife crisis. I’ll be over it in a couple of months.” The disciple gave a “what can I tell you” shrug of his shoulders.

“Is that what they are calling temptation these days – midlife crisis?”

The disciple laughed in spite of himself.

Slowly Jesus reached over to the bowl of popcorn, took one piece and popped it into his mouth. Jesus’ obvious enjoyment made the disciple shake his head.

“Even God can’t eat only one piece of popcorn,” said the disciple.

“Especially God,” said Jesus. “Try some.”

The disciple instinctively took a handful of popcorn, but then let some fall back into the bowl. He put the pieces in his mouth two or three at a time.

When both of them had finished chewing, Jesus said in a very gentle voice, “You have been with me now a for a long time, and you were wondering whether it is all worth it. You are thinking of divorcing me quietly, aren’t you?”

“It crossed my mind.”

“My friend, you more chutzpah. Blessed are those who are not embarrassed by me.”

Jesus waited, but there were no words for a long time.

Then Jesus said, “there was a bank robber who planned a heist for a long time. He had worked out the details and was ready to go. But when he got to the bank teller’s window, he suddenly panicked and asked directions to the washroom.”

“Hah! You’re saying that I can’t carry through what I set out to do.”

“I’m saying risk the salt on the popcorn.”

“Jesus,” said the disciple in an exasperated tone, “I’m going to lay it on the line. You walk too fast: I can’t keep up.”

“Better be out of breath behind me than ahead of everyone else.”

“I want a more moderate master so that I can be a better disciple.”

“You are a perfect disciple. You are having second thoughts.”

“That may be accurate, but it’s hardly perfects.”

“My friend, that is the way of the earth beyond the earth. Why live out of something as small as you are? Love me because I am large enough to betray. But I do not think you are happy in the land of mercy.”

“God, you are a bittersweet experience. Why do you say things so harshly?”

“Peter used to say that I was the only one who could say, ‘God loves you’ and g et everybody mad.”

The disciple laughed. So did Jesus.

“You laugh at the right places,” said Jesus. Then suddenly he asked, “So are you going to stick around?”

“Where will I go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68)

“No fair stealing Peter’s lines.”

“Will you stick around with someone like me?” The disciple sighed like some great build up of pressure had been released.

“Is that what this is all about?” asked Jesus “you know everything; you know that I love you?”

“No fair in stealing Peter’s lines. Why did you say that?”

“When Peter said it to me, it blew me away. I hoped it might do the same thing for you.”

“But I don’t know everything.”

“You know enough.”

“I know that even when I want you to go away, I don’t want you to go away.”

“East of Eden we call that love.” said the Master, and tears ran freely down his face.

In imitation of his master, the disciple cried.

For a long time there were no words, only the silence of communication.

“You know,” Jesus finally said, “after Lazarus came back to life, he told me that what woke him up in the tomb was the sound of my tears” (John 11:35).

“I can believe it,” said the disciple.

Jesus smiled and reached for a third piece of popcorn. The disciple also took a piece. Jesus closed his eyes to savor better. The disciple did likewise. When the disciple opened his eyes, Jesus was gone. But there was such an incredible lightness to his being, such a revitalization of his heart that the disciple knew where he had vanished to.

Federer Beats Sampras

2008-03-11T09:43:00.000+08:00

for my dad and for sir bong. =)

News item (click here)

Disturb us, Oh Lord

2008-02-25T15:26:00.000+08:00

a prayer that Doc Leo Garcia use to say as we begin our Levinas class.

Disturb Us, Oh Lord
~Sir Francis Drake's Prayer~

Disturb us, O Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves;
When our dreams have come true,
Because we dreamed too little.
We arrived safely,
Because we sailed too close to shore.
Disturb us, O Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess,
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity.
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, O Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push us into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
Amen.

the curse of the a priori

2008-02-24T08:27:00.000+08:00

(Nosebleed.)
Background of the study: an april 2007 blogpost

It is innate yet hard to internalize.
It is always there though always left unaffirmed.
For its strength and permanence, we nail it to a place till eternity; but we leave it on its own.

When we'd like to believe that we can always overcome due to a very strong claim (say, this is already tested, proven and progressive - aha, synthetic a priori), I must say that the belief to the stability of anything is not enough.

Who knows, baka naman napapagod rin pala ang a priori. Masisisi mo ba sya? Hindi. A priori is presence - wala iyang sasabihin, andyan lang yan. Ikaw eh, pinako mo.

After all, it is but a mental designation. And who designates? No else but man, who is both culpable of wrong thought and wrong perception. Aha, a priori does not need perception, but who says that it does need attention?

So, KSP pala ang a priori. No, it is the philosopher's choice to think it over. And thinking is an experience, and a lived-one at that. Philosophers are lovers of wisdom -- which includes the love of their self-designated distinctions.

Hay Platon, kasalanan mo ang lahat.

a la session de prochaine: on ditching french

2008-02-21T15:59:00.000+08:00

I have just had my 6th cut in my module two at alliance which deprives me of my module two certificate and would require me of an exam to be accelerated to module three. Anyway, i will be taking (errhm, bound to have) another session to be able to comply to my foreign language requirement. This delinquency does not (yet) destroy "the dream", but im really sorry about what happened. Eh ganun talaga eh.

Hay. Kung sumasabay lang ang oras kapag pinigilan mo ang relo.

Nakakapagod.

SPLICE!

2008-02-18T12:07:00.000+08:00

This is a note-taking technique i learned from Inang Tanlayco. To splice is to cut (i.e., scissor) notes/data from different sources for re-pasting in order to recognize a comprehensible sequence of narrative. Splicing is a manual copy-paste method that is used to develop an idea/story. When something new is developed and the sources are cited, it's okay - otherwise, your paper's plagiarized.

Last week was devotedly spent in compiling the articles to be included in the fifth volume of our quadricentennial project. Being such an OC, I made it sure that all the articles are neatly compiled and consistent to our Master List. I even skipped my thursday class at alliance just to make it sure that it can be forwarded to Dr. Pasricha on saturday morning. However, Dr. Co (the editor) wanted to have a final look and so the deadline had been moved to this week.

I was able to accomplish my tasks on friday afternoon and was so eager to give it so we can move to our other pending jobs. I was able to compile two big binders, with a reproduced version of four uni-bound (snappy copy-bound) volumes -- neatly arranged and quadruple-checked. I thought that it would only take a look from Dr Co for its approval. But I was wrong.

After the fifth and final check of the sequence, he expressed his joy about the completion of articles, only that he had just thought of a better way of organizing them. Spurred as though a better idea really came out, he immediately asked for the Master List and started to cut the articles into pieces. He asked for an extra sheet of paper to which I was asked to paste the "new sequence". Then he dropped the bomb, "we're not giving this yet to josie, we have to rearrange these articles."

Shucks, babaklasin ang uni-bind. Gagawa ng bagong title pages. Gagawa ng nth version ng masterlist.

I must have turned pale and the venerable master must have noticed it, and so he said, "it's gonna be okay Liz. Nothing's wrong. Never mind. We have to do it. We have to do it." It took me five minutes to recover, but right then and there I have understood what he meant. We are up to an arrangement that can suggest a better perspective to our researchers. Then a teasing follow-up, "Don't cry Liz. It's okay." Yea it's true, splicing is very normal in research. Better this be done now.

Further thought made me think about life. Splicing indeed is very common. Sometimes, you just have to do abrupt cuts to find a better view or to set your story to a better direction. It could hurt, it is indeed disturbing, it is never comfortable -- but yes, "we just have to do it." Sometimes, to splice means to undo what has been done so we can do something new, or perhaps we can see things according to their proper perspectives. It means starting anew by throwing the trash and cutting unwanted edges - perhaps to save us from further trouble or perhaps not to be hurt by these same sharp edges.

Yea, just like any other research project, life is meant to be arranged. And perhaps for a better one, it is even subject to abrupt and painful re-arrangements. I'm not sure if I am already disposed to put up happy statements, but I just have to admit that I also have to be spliced.
(as if magulo talaga ang buhay ko. hehe.)

please read (from voltaire lozada)

2008-02-12T09:17:00.000+08:00

this is from a dear advisee, voltaire - a nephew of jun lozada. posting it here to show support.

(http://voltz1129.multiply.com/journal/item/43?replies_read=1).

A proverbial clash between David and Goliath, a boy surrounded by bullies. It’s starting. Claims being denied left and right, being retracted at every turn. Our family desperately needs help. We need people to believe, we need people who will support us, and this is the only way I know how to reach out. So please, if you care enough, please repost this so that your circle of friends may be informed. For further information, please read my past blogs.]

Given another chance, I wouldn’t choose a testimony on a Friday. This gave palace officials a couple of days to prepare. If you could notice, right after the hearing and the press conference, the implicated persons were out of public’s sight. Instead, some others were made to appear in front of the media. Now, after two days, these are the things that are happening:

Media people were paid 500K to shut up. I received a text message. I could only speculate. But I’m afraid it might be true. During these times, I’m going to take it for what its worth. Hopefully, its not true. Hopefully, journalists and media people will stick to their principles and continue to uphold the truth and not compromise it for any monetary value. But let me share one article that may somewhat give justice to this claim:

An article in Pilipino Star Ngayon dated Feb 9 claimed that it was only Sen Enrile who gave the most “substantial” line of questioning by asking my uncle why he chose to stay with those people whom he knew were corrupt. The article further claimed that my uncle loses credibility by choosing to stay with the corrupt people and goes on to say that he himself is corrupt by his own admission. Sen Escudero said it best: only a thief can catch a thief. If someone stole your cellphone and you report it to the police, do you think it will be recovered? I highly doubt it. I would dare claim that they won’t even catch the guy who took it. But go ask your local bully who just happens to be your friend, and I’m sure that within seconds someone will say that it was “magically” brought to him by another person. If my uncle turned his back from that project that early, yes, it could have made his life easier. But then again, if he was not there, we’d be listening to the Arroyo – De Venecia family feud on our sets now, without knowing for certain who’s telling the truth and who’s speaking mere lies..

Military is funded P-6B. Again, I’m taking it for what it’s worth. To begin with, I don’t really trust the military. Other than Trillanes and the Magdalo group, I think they’re the President’s private army. Try to look at the past PNP and AFP chiefs. They are either retired well off, or still serving the government in some other capacity. Favors never ended for them. But again, this is speculation, my opinion. Besides, after my godfather was brutally murdered by the “intelligence” unit of the PNP and were punished by something a bit harsher than a slap at the wrist (the criminals, all police officers, got about 6 months suspension, my godfather’s family got I think around 5mil in compensation, and that’s about it.), they were back on the force, ready to make mistakes again.

Weird events. My cousin and my aunts are saying that a black Mitsubishi Adventure is roaming around their houses. Yesterday, I was to go to their house, but on the way, I say a black Crosswind seemingly lost. I tried to follow it, but it stopped at some house. To avoid suspicion, I went on my way. Earlier, as I was going home, this same Crosswind was coming into the village and went through the security gate, meaning they were not homeowners. Still, it was moving slowly. I might be paranoid, but again, I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt. Also yesterday, someone called up claiming to be from the Wheelers Club. For those who don’t know, it is a towing service which you apply membership for so that in case of any accident, they will tow your vehicle free of charge. My mother’s vehicle is a registered vehicle. Here’s how the conversation went:

Lady: is Ms Evangeline Lozada going to register the vehicle again? Her vehicle is a white Mitsubishi Lancer with plate number _ _ _ - _ _ _, right?
Sister: uh, yes?
Lady: Is your mother still using the vehicle?
Sister: no, she’s commuting. Who is this?
Lady: Uhm, this is Mila.
Sister: Mila who?
Lady: Mila Diaz.
Sister: Where are you from?
Lady: Uhm, this is from Towing.
Sister: Towing?
Lady: Yes, from the Wheeler’s club.
Sister: What branch?
Lady: E. Rod.
Sister: Do you have a phone number?
Lady: 0920…
Sister: Don’t you have a landline number for your office?
Lady: Uhm, wait. (pauses for a while, seemingly getting something) its (insert Wheeler’s Club number here)

This is why it’s weird. First, my mother’s membership isn’t due until July this year. What would be the reason behind someone calling about her membership? Next, why would anyone from the towing department call and ask about membership? Their job is to tow cars, not register people. Another thing, for registration purposes, why would you need to know if the person is still using the vehicle? I mean, why the hell should they care? They’re already paid and that payment is good until July, so what’s their business wanting to know how that car is right now? And finally, if she is an employee of the Wheeler’s club, why must she pause and look for a number for their own office? You can look Wheeler’s Club up in any yellow pages. Why is it that the first number that would come to her mind is her cellphone number? For official purposes, shouldn’t you give out your company’s own number?

Another call weird call was from someone from Days hotel, asking if my father was home. Asked why, he said he just wants to know if he’s here. Upon saying he isn’t the person on the other end said thanks, and put the phone down. Promos are common nowadays, but from Days hotel? Can anyone tell me if they got a call from them recently looking for a person and not saying why? My father isn’t a hotel person. At least, that’s what I know. At this particular time, I’d trust him more than the Days dude.

We may just be paranoid, but we’re not taking any chances.

Retractions and preparations. Abalos, on his initial interview, fumed when asked by a reporter his thoughts now that 3 people are implicating him on the ZTE deal. He lost his cool. Days after that incident, he appears in front of the media, saying that he is going to file a libel case against my uncle. Now, he has an alibi, a story he can tell the whole world, so he waited until after a couple of days before he could readily face the media. With all due respect to Benjamin, the mayor of Mandaluyong and son of the controversial Abalos, is one of the mayors I actually admire. I don’t know him, I am not from Mandaluyong, but I like him simply because he is a Bosconian. The four years of my life in Don Bosco Mandaluyong have been the most transformative in my life, simply because of the care of the Salesian priests. I have no doubt in my mind that he too is one of those people guided by the principles of the Salesians. I leave him to decide whether or not he will choose the truth over his family.

Gen. Razon, for his part, is still maintaining that he merely acted on my uncle’s request. He is still firm on saying that my uncle wrote to him asking for safety, because he fears for his life. Again, we ask, safety from what and from whom? The senate isn’t going to kill him. “Arrest” doesn’t mean he’s going to get killed, and we’re not dumb as to believing that something bad will happen to him at the senate. We are afraid of the administration and Abalos, and help from the PNP is the last thing that we’re going to ask for after what they did to my godfather, Uncle Jun’s brother. Razon initially claimed that records do not show a certain Roger Valeroso. However, a further search on their database revealed that this Valeroso was actually a former member of the PNP who is now with the DENR. A couple of points I want to question: Under what capacity can a mere SPO4 serve in the DENR? Yes, one may ask too, what is an official of the Forestry corporation doing in a broadband deal? Different talents may be in one person, which is why they serve in areas which are totally different from each other. But as my uncle said, one of his tasks was to “moderate their greed” which ultimately means allow greed, but not to blown up proportions. Could that be Mr. Valeroso’s task in the DENR? But then again, why is he being asked to run errand picking people up in the airport? Additionally, where is he? Why has he not appeared yet, and why is it that only his name is being surfaced, and not the person himself to prove his existence? And most importantly, Razon said that the PNP is just doing their duty of “securing” my uncle, and they have accomplished that mission since my uncle is now speaking in front of the public. However, if it were true that PNP personnel were the people who handled my uncle, why is it that Roger Valeroso is from the DENR? It’s problematic. He and Gen. Atutubo should’ve talked first before releasing a statement.

Speaking of Gen. Atutubo, has anyone seen or heard from him after Thursday? I haven’t. Maybe they’re still spanking him for speaking without coordinating. Palace officials and scriptwriters are now having a hard time trying to figure out how the abduction angle can be dispelled, because apparently, the written request and my Aunt’s supposed request are not yet enough for the people.

Sec. Neri, the dear friend my uncle seeks to protect out of “respect”, is not even supporting him, which is all the more demoralizing, for lack of a better term, for me personally. My uncle’s in a position where he can no longer turn back, so afraid or not, he should carry on. He’s been broken down in Hong Kong. On the account of people who were with him, there were times when he answers his cellphone and then his eyes just suddenly turns red. We want to show him that we’re still behind him, but personally, I’m feeling disappointed and afraid that this might lead to nothing because they’re ganging up on him.

Invoking rights. Let me get it right: according to the bill of rights, one has the right to invoke his right against self-incrimination. By invoking this right, one may not be persecuted by evidence that is from him. When Sen. Miriam Santiago was questioning my uncle, he could have very well invoked this right so as he would not be persecuted on his admittance. He didn’t, because he wasn’t going to hide anything (well, apparently, anything that does not involve Sec. Neri) from the public. Now, people from the government are filing a case against him because of his admittance of corruption. And you know why? Because “this government does not tolerate corruption.” Tell that to importers who continually pay people from customs so that they can go on with their business. Tell that to countless people who MMDA and traffic enforcers extort money from. Tell that to the general public. Tell that to the farmers who walked all the way from the province to air out their grievances to the government. And if they all say that statement is a fact, then I will concede that the President is in fact our savior, and no other person is fit to be in that position of power than her.

Funding. I could tell you this much: a couple of my cousins and I are discussing this situation, and we concede that if it were up to us, we would just shut up given the right amount, amounts that would make us all set until at least the next generation. I will not be a hypocrite who will say that I am an all-righteous person. I just want to live a quiet, simple life. That’s why I’ve been holding off law school even to this date. By doing all these, we’re being put at the very top of the most wanted list of the Leprechaun’s private army. It’s a tough company to go against. She has allies in all major departments of the country and she is the well-loved commander-in-chief of the military leaders. Accepting an amount is the easiest way to get out of this mess. But after my uncle’s testimony, how else can you retract after going this deep into it?

My uncle is doing this for the country, in honor of that great man who produced excellent people, my grandfather, Rodolfo Sr., or “Upoy” for the locals in Ligao, Albay. This country, as my uncle claimed, has done so much for our family. What he is doing now is the least he can do to repay this for this country and honor his father. I am just afraid that he may be “just another witness” to the very same people who he is trying to protect. To dispel the possibility of funding from the other side, I will wholeheartedly say that he is not motivated or funded by anyone from the opposition. To tell you frankly, my uncle’s not that poor to be bought at some price (unlike me and my cousins). While he was in Hong Kong, he was telling my father that he doesn’t want to talk to Sen. Lacson anymore because it seems that he is using him for his political ambitions in 2010. He wanted his family to be the ones who would fetch him from the airport because he doesn’t want to be linked to any opposition senator, as it might give the wrong impression.

Personal knowledge is all we have. Should there be any actual evidence, I personally would not know of it. However, I can attest that everything he said in the senate about his involvement in the ZTE deal is true due to the fact that it is the same story we’ve heard countless times before. And that is all we have. That is the only stone that we could throw at the Goliath we are going up against. I implore you people, please make your voices heard. Please pass this on. Let more people know so that they will not be confined to what they hear or see on the different media that present news. Our involvement in this mess won’t make us rich. It won’t make my uncle the president of this country. National recognition may be inevitable, but what more can it give you than celebrity status, and how in the hell can it improve his lifestyle? We gain nothing big from this mess. So please, help this David out and spread the truth before Goliath completely annihilates him and make him just another page in their book of lies.

Voltaire

onelast-onetime-bigtime

2008-02-11T11:07:00.000+08:00

reposted from multiply (written sometime in may 2007, too bad i just have to repeat the same lines.) after all, im entitled to my own blogpost.

By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept by Paulo Coelho -- I hated this book way back in college, only to find out that the more appropriate disposition could've been dread.

By the River Piedra I sat down and wept. There is a legend that everything that falls into the waters of this river -- leaves, insects, the feathers of birds -- is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed. If only I could tear out my hear and hurl it into the current, then my pain and longing would be over, and I could finally forget.

By the River Piedra I sat down and wept. The winter air chills the tears on my cheeks, and my tears fall into the cold waters that course past me. Somewhere, this river joins another, then another, until -- far from my heart and sight -- all of them merge with the sea.

May my tears run just as far, that my love might never know that one day I cried for him. May my tears run just as far, that I might forget the River Piedra, the monastery, the church, in the Pyrenees, the mists, and the paths we walked together.

I shall forget the road, the mountains, and the fields of my dreams -- the dreams that will never come true.

I remember my "magic moment" -- that instant when a "yes" or a "no" can change one's life forever. It seems so long ago now. It is hard to believe that it was only last week that I had found my love once again, and then lost him.

I am writing this story on the bank of the River Piedra. My hands are freezing, my legs are numb, and every minute I want to stop.

"Seek to live. Remembrance is for the old," he said.

Perhaps love makes us old before our time or young, if youth has passed. But how can I not recall those moments? That is why I write -- to try to turn sadness into longing, solitude into remembrance. So that when I finish telling myself the story, I can toss it into the Piedra. That's what the woman we has given me shelter told me to do. Only then -- in the words of one of the saints -- will the water extinguish what the flames have written.

All love stories are the same.

I must have been too tired when I read the book years back that I failed to find my heart in it. Now, I've come to the point where I could but repeat Pilar's lines. No reactions, not even a preachy sermon - just plain and forlorn resonance. At this stance, I am again choosing the grace of silence, and perhaps just pray and weep (though hopefully not for the same reason) with Pilar.

Amen.

out of sight (myra's journal)

2008-02-07T04:52:00.000+08:00

I stole some time at the jp2 research center to bloghop (thru proxybrowsing, ahaha nagplug pa. peaceout sir joel, hehehe), then i chanced upon reading a title of one of myra's entries. Uhh, teka, ba't nasa title ang pangalan ko?

http://sturmunddrang.multiply.com/journal/item/2/Out_of_Sight?replies_read=5

I hit on the url then read the entry. It was a write-up for a Retorika class seven years back (2001). Mye's a very good college-friend with whom i shared so many things in common - pareho kaming paxie, scholar, grade-conscious, (semi)student-leader, choirmember, naging titser... only that she chose a path opposite to nerd-dom, naiwan ako sa academe. I remember those days when everyone in our group (the Butterflies) were all academic-freaks and hopeless romantics. But among us, Mye would always stand out, as a matter of fact, she was our class valedictorian.

Reading her entry made me realize how other people see me, especially those whom i always look up to. Given that her entry is written seven years back, it made me recall how I was, and perhaps how I should always be. Philosophy must have given me a tough shell, it made me stronger and wiser but a little less sensitive. I try hard to be upright at all times, but sometimes it could also mean being uptight. I always want to make sense - this is my constant object of strife, nonetheless and to be honest - I still seek for liberation.

Myra Jennifer, thanks for reminding me of who i am. I may not have that long umbrella that I used to carry with me, must have been so drowned with work to forget and must have even turned to be dogmatic and preachy when i remember. Salamat sa paglampas-tanaw.

Salamat sa kumpiyansa. Salamat sa pagtanaw bagaman di niyo ako halos makita.

just counting...

2008-01-31T05:20:00.000+08:00

There are four important projects that im currently juggling in my hands: the quadricentennial philosophy project, teaching (which consists of 2 major subjects: sp qq in episte, existentialism; and logic - backlogs!), PAP work and my dissertation.

I just got through making and delivering a paper for intersections (that lit-conference), so yesterday FOUR was FIVE.

If I am to add my lessons at alliance francaise (they did not allow me to drop), FOUR will become FIVE. And oh, I forgot about the saturday Levinas class, so I guess I should make it SIX.

But oh, I forgot about my thesis advisees. They will be defending this february. Make it then SEVEN.

And they are all long-term tasks; semester-long at the very least.

<> @__@ Bring it on.

kritike.org's 2nd ish

2008-01-29T16:05:00.000+08:00

...is finally out. hit: www.kritike.org to read new articles on philosophy.

father dean's wisdom

2008-01-25T18:22:00.000+08:00

unforgettable quips by fr. enrico gonzales from the recently held seminar on philosophy (the nexus of ethics and moral theology)

"there is a big difference when you say that a relation is substantial. it's as thick as the soup that siena sisters serve to me in their convent. masustansya."

philosophers must think out of the box. sometimes there are disjunctive things that you can actually take as conjunctive, just like faith and reason, mary's virginity and motherhood -- you just have to think out of the box.

ethics that focuses on law leads to the finding of ways on how to bend it.

"I dont believe in the Apostle's Creed, I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ..." (onga naman. hehe)

conscience should have a face. ang konsensyang walang mukha, ay sa taong walang hiya (oo nga ano? that's so levinasian.)

Honti-talks from Padre Roque and Fr. Mano

2008-01-19T15:39:00.000+08:00

Thanks ttitopao for posting this at the BP Forums, i felt like i need to post them here because that a mentor (Padre Roque) and a musical inspiration (Fr. Mano) were the ones who wrote these essays. Indeed, Fr. Honti's ways are edifying.

REMEMBERING FR. HONTI
Fr. Roque Ferriols, SJ
Oratory of St. Ignatius, Loyola House of Studies
January 15, 2008

"He loved to sing. He loved to talk. He loved to laugh. Towards the end of his life, he could no longer sing. He could no longer talk. But he still laughed."

In the Society of Jesus there are certain people who appear and disappear in your life – depending on the vagaries of the assignments you receive. You begin to take it for granted that they will always be near. They are like fixed stars that are so present that you do not notice them. Whey they suddenly pass away you realize that you have lost a friend.

The early Jesuits referred to themselves as a company of friends in the Lord. In his quiet loyal way, Father Eddie was – is a friend in the Lord to all of us. Memories of Father Eddie are now flooding my mind and I will share a few of them.

Father Eddie, Father Jess Diaz and I took our first year theology in St. Mary’s, Kansas. There was a steep slope in the Theologate golf course. Eddie was one of the few brave souls that learned to ski on that slope. I remember seeing him coming in, his face red from the cold raw air. I admired his courage but was unable to imitate it.

Years later we were in Baguio for a province retreat. I had to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. Eddie accompanied me. Before I was wheeled in the operating room, I asked him to hear my confession. Across the years, I remember his words of consolation and I am grateful for them.

St. Augustine says that to sing is to pray twice. Eddies has filled our churches with people who pray twice. They love to pray singing melodies composed by Fr. Eddie. Eddie’s music is in the style of Ilonggo folk music. He loved the music. He loved the people who created the music. He learned from their music and spread their style throughout the world.

Eddie loved to talked, he loved to sing, and he loved to laugh. In the last years of his life he could not sing, he could not talk. All he could pronounce were a few words, but he could still laugh.

And he lived life with zest. He communicated animatedly using the few words he could pronounce and gestures. He composed music using a computer, and he laughed. He so alive and cheerful that we sometimes failed to notice, the courage with which he embraced life. He was cheerful. He spread his cheerfulness to the people he lived with. That is the word I will use to describe Eddie: Courage.

He spent time everyday praying before the Blessed Sacrament, that was the source of his courage. He loved to live life with joy at a time when physical energy to him was in diminishment and inspired courage in others.

We thank God for giving us Eddie as brother and friend.

Fr. Honti: A Most Sublime Song to God
Fr. Manoling V. Francisco, S.J.
January 16, 2008

Sometimes the dearer a person is to you, the more difficult it is to speak about him or her. This is precisely what I feel now trying to condense into a few hundred words the immeasurable significance of Fr. Honti for all of us...

Gentle Spirit.

Fr. Honti was a gentle spirit. His brother Alex admits that he and his brothers bullied little Eddie and got him into trouble with their Mama. Fr. Revs attests that Fr. Honti was, like the Blessed Virgin Mary, born without original sin.

In 1991, Fr. Honti suffered his first stroke, which paralyzed his right hand and impaired his speech. Nonetheless, Fr. Honti’s mind remained lucid, spirit indomitable. Fr. Herb Schneider tells me that even after his stroke, Fr. Honti would hie away with Fr. Herb, Fr. Calderone, Fr. Pat Giordano, Fr. Roger Champoux to a beach house in Matuod, not so much to pray or recollect, but to play bridge. And despite his stroke, Fr. Honti remained a top notch bridge player.

Having a lucid mind, Fr. Honti, despite speech therapy, had been unable to express himself beyond “Ok”, which he would utter with his endearing laughter and “the Lord be with you,” which he would agonizingly enunciate. It certainly must have been frustrating for him to have a clear and active mind, yet not be able to express his thoughts and sentiments. And yet, not once have I seen Fr. Honti cranky or depressed.

Every now and then, Fr. Honti would visit me in the Jesuit Music Ministry Office and we would play a game of charades. He would grunt and lift his hand, and I knew he wanted me to do something for him. One afternoon, as he entered our office, I asked him, “Fr., man or woman?” He replied, “Woman.” To which I further asked, “Sister or lay?” “Sister,” he answered. Then I enumerated all the religious congregations for women I could think of: “RVM, Cenacle, FMM, RA, RGS, MMS…” “MMS,” he repeated and smiled. Whew, but that was only the first part of the game, because the next part required me to enumerate all the MMS sisters I knew. So finally, we reached a union of minds, “Sr. Vicky at EAPI!” Finally, I identified the person he wanted me to contact. But then, the last part of the game was the most difficult. “So, Fr., what about Sr. Vicky?” He grunted, raised his hands and expected me to read his mind. “Do you want me to invite her to LHS for a meal?” He shook his head. “Oh, maybe you want me o invite her to watch a concert with you?” Then he smiled from ear to ear.

But sometimes, despite our long and tedious game, I would not be able to decipher what he had in mind. He would scratch his head and I would feel so bad. “Fr. Honti, let’s do it all over again.” But he would motion me and signal me not to fret and he would console me with a single word, “Ok,” short for “That’s alright.” And he would walk out of our office with nary a sign of frustration or desolation.

Sabi nga ni Pina Asiatico, “Si Fr. Honti, hindi yan marunong magalit.”

Humble Genius.

Secondly, Fr. Honti was a humble genius. Fr. Revs writes:

He was always very gifted: not only in composing music, but in putting together things like electric organs, utility gadgets, etc., developing and printing photographic films, playing chess or playing the accordion and the organ; solving crossword puzzles; conceptualizing scholastic philosophy and theology; getting top marks in IQ tests, etc.”

To which Larphy, Pilar Ignacio, long-time accompanist of Fr. Honti adds: once, as the curtains were about to be drawn to signal the start of the concert, Fr. Honti continued to hover above the piano, tuning the strings. And to which Rowena, registrar of LST, validates: “Siya lang yung dean ng LST na hindi nakasubsob ang mukha sa mga libro at papeles, kundi nagkukumpune ng tape recorder at ng radio.”

Despite his many skills and talents, Fr. Honti never called attention to his giftedness. Unlike other artists who become overly protective of their works, Fr. Honti remained detached from his songs. Larphy narrates:

Fr. Honti and I have been collaborators since we started having concerts in 1974. Once when we were teaching the Barangka choir one of his new compositions, they could not get the notes right no matter how many times we practiced. What Fr. Honti did was to change the notes according to how the choir sang it. He said that if the choir didn't get it, chances are the general public wouldn't be able to sing it the way the notes were. So he followed the choir.

Despite the genius that he was, Fr. Honti remained unassuming and self-effacing. Tita Remy Ignacio remembers Fr. Honti serving quietly, bearing difficulties, and never calling attention to himself.

Twenty-seven years ago, Fr. Honti requested Tita Remy to chaperone 35 teen-agers from Pansol who were performing in several towns in Bikol. “We had no [private] transportation. We took the public bus from town to town. Fr. Honti was so tired waiting for a bus to go to another town. He sat on a sidewalk while waiting, finally we agreed to hop in the bus even if it was full. He was seated on sacks of rice. He was very tired then, but never did he give up.

Indeed, Fr. Honti remained indefatigable. After his stroke in 1991, he went through a period of distancing himself from music and songwriting. Noticing that he did not have a CD player in his room, I asked him if he wanted one. He shook his head. I asked him if he wanted a small keyboard. He again shook his head. I insisted that JMM could easily get him a small keyboard for his room. He consistently refused my offer.

A few years later, there he was in our tiny JMM office with a sheaf of new compositions that he wanted encoded. The last years of his life, he had no qualms allowing me to correct his works, “Fr. this note clashes with the chord you assigned; perhaps you meant this note.” He would nod at every suggestion. And when I would finally play his new composition on the clavinova, he would laugh and cry at the same time.

The humble master songwriter had no qualms being taught and aided by his young apprentice.

Insistent Lover.

Third, Fr. Honti was an Insistent Lover.

Every few months, Paulino Pe, Fr. Honti’s former student at the Ateneo de Zamboanga in 1949, would give Fr. Eddie a gift check for a lauriat for twelve people at Peach Blossoms. Pina was our events coordinator. She would text Fr. Honti’s girlfriends: Temay, Larphy (whenever she was in town), Sr. Bubbles, Sr. Lulu, Tita Remy and a few of us Jesuits. Pina narrates: “kahit available lahat, kapag di ako puwede, sasabihin ni Fr. Honti, ‘No, no, no, no, no.” And so Pina would have to text everyone again and reschedule the dinner. That was Fr. Honti’s way of telling Pina how special she was to him.

Similarly, Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel texted me earlier today: “He baptized every one of our four children even after his stroke in 1991, joyfully baptizing them, then laboriously but devotedly signing their baptismal certificates.” At times, Fr. Honti was very insistent in doing things his way, but it was always to let others know how much he cared for them.

This afternoon I bumped into Sr. Bubbles at the LRT station. We started exchanging stories about Fr. Honti, wiping away our tears, as throngs of people passed us by. One day, Sr. Bubbles narrated, she received a call from Fr. Honti. “Imagine,” sabi ni Sr. Bubbles, “despite his condition, ang tapang niyang tumawag sa akin?” It turns out that Fr. Honti wanted her to visit him in LHS. As they met at the lobby, he grasped her arm and led her to his bedroom. “Hala, Fr. hindi ba bawal ako umakyat diyan?” But he was insistent. He showed her a picture of his during his younger years and asked her to scribble a dedication at the back where other friends had done so earlier.

The next day, she received a letter. And on the page were scribbled large letters in a child’s handwriting: “I love you, Fr. Honti.”

I encountered the insistent Fr. Honti many times. The last time was during the most recent homecoming in San Jose Seminary in November, 2007. As with many gatherings, I would sit beside him, serve him and slice his meat and vegetables for him. In the middle of the program, he rose from his chair. “Fr. Honti, are you going home?” “Yes,” he replied. How did you get here? Who will take you home?” He signaled that he was walking back to LHS. I told him that I was accompanying him. He signaled that I remain seated. Because I insisted he could not go home unless I chaperone him, he relented. After climbing the steps from the San Jose covered courts to our driveway, he motioned me to return to the party. He was worried that I would miss the program at the homecoming. As we reached the steps of Loyola House of Studies, he motioned me to take his umbrella. I told him it was only drizzling outside and that I did not need an umbrella. He refused to go up to his bedroom until I accepted his umbrella. Knowing he would not take no for an answer I took his umbrella and kissed him goodnight. He held me in his arms. If ever Fr. Honti was stubborn and insistent, it was always to let people know how much he cared for them. That night, somehow I knew that Fr. Honti would not remain with us much longer.

The Mystic’s Laughter and Suffering.

I know a good Jesuit homily consists of three points; however, permit me to add one last reflection on the mystic’s laughter. The saints speak of the beatific vision as an indistinguishable interwovenness of laughter and tears. Fr. Honti was constantly laughing and crying at the same moment. Whenever a choir would sing for him, he would laugh and cry at the same time. Whenever we told him how much we loved him, he would unabashedly laugh and cry simultaneously. Before Christmas I told him that Pia, his newscaster-niece, had invited me to preside over the Eucharist during their clan’s Christmas gathering and that I had told Pia: “Anything for Fr. Honti.” Fr. Honti laughed and cried. Before their clan Mass, I whispered to Fr. Honti that in order to make everyone especially happy that Christmas, I would preside and he would preach a one-word homily: “Alleluia.” He laughed and cried so hard.

I suppose only the mystics are able to see the infinite value of little acts of kindness. For Fr. Honti, little acts of affection and charity shown him overwhelmed him emotionally, as though our little deeds of kindness were the greatest acts of love.

His Person, a Song of Praise to God.

I last spoke to Fr. Honti the night before his massive stroke. During the reception at the Final Vows of Fr. Tony de Castro and Fr. Pedro Walpole, I served Fr. Honti. I brought him a plate of lechon and offered him one slice, and just one tiny slice. To my amazement, he refused. The next morning, January 4, 2008, Fr. Honti was found sprawled along the corridors here in LHS. He had suffered another stroke that left him comatose. He never woke-up.

While he has written so many memorable songs, his very person, is certainly the most sublime song he has offered to God. Gentle spirit, humble genius, insistent lover and mystic who laughed and cried constantly, Fr. Honti, we love you and together with you in heaven, we sing:

Ang puso koy’ nagpupuri, nagpupuri sa Panginoon
Nagagalak ang aking espiritu, sa ‘king Tagapagligtas

people of the philippines, panext and patapon...

2008-01-18T05:57:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Jike for introducing the family to BrewRats last New Year. This is like the radio version of the late and great Strangebrew which kept my sanity way back in college. It's good to hear Tado, Erning and Ramon Bautista once again (uhh, asan si Rigor?). While philosophers float when they talk about profound thoughts, here's a part of my probable profanity. Yep, tao rin naman po.
Tama? Astig.

(show is aired from Monday to Thursday, from 9pm-12mn, at 99.5 fm band)

I got this from another Multiply user (with permission shempre) who got it from Tado's friendster.

Sabi nga nya, buti pa sila binabayaran para maging adik. Ok lang din naman sa min maging adik kahit di kami bayaran. We always listen to them while at work...It's alottafan!!!

brewsters: us all we, all listeners of brewrats show
brewho: boy
brewha: gurl
brewhay: bakla
brewjay: tomboy
brewrara: patol sa lahat
once again,once more: same same
ur radio is not defective: its juz us
tama: erning's punch line este word
wasak: lakas tama / wasted
marang: pro horny fruit
papaya: anti horny fruit
prepaid: it is a good sign for ligaw since you can pasa load
postpaid: bad sign, u need extra effort
marang festival: group sex
papaya salad: bible study
shoe size: organ equivalent
mayonnaisse: adventurous
panext: 18 and above / pwede na / its like borrowing a kinky magazine from ur classmate, u say "panext!"
people of the phils: minor / below 18
110v: troy montero / foreigner
220v: machete / native / pinoy
autovolt: christian vasquez / mixture of both 110 and 220volts
zona libre: pwdeng ligawan maski sinu
public skul: poor member of the society
private skul: laki sa aircon
ampon: wala lang
bribe: juz anything pleasurable / suhol
emo: ambot
punk: astig
hell: warm place / if ur bad ur going there and meet satan
heaven: cool place
brewraatatatataat: u need to say this after the drumroll
brewrat - badtrip
secrets: if yu want us to be friends share some secrets because friends share secrets

ADDITIONAL from tiaara (pa nex,wasak)

brewhihi: bisexual
g2g: girl to girl action
is your hands in your pocket?: some guy stuff .. lol
picking some pencils: style to make boso
giggles: pacute laugh
burn your letter: it means your letter sucks ! lol
poor beggars of edsa: urban society
illiterate: bobo / tanga / slow .. hahaha
tado and technology: imagine tado using the computer .. hehe
early bird callers: brewsters who usually call from 9pm to 930pm, they usually experience slamming on the phone .. hehe
kinky: sexy / my halong malisya
kawaii: cute japanese girls
sto. nino voice: small pretencious moderated voice .. hehe

si father honti (1923-2008)

2008-01-16T17:50:00.000+08:00

Si P. Eduardo Hontiveros, SJ ang ama ng mga awiting pangmisa sa filipino, ang utak sa likod ng mga unang awiting pangmisa sa tagalog (Papuri Sa Diyos, Buksan ang ating Puso, Purihi't Pasalamatan) na sinundan ng mga relihiyosong musikero tulad nila P. Manoling Francisco, SJ at P. Arnel dC Aquino, SJ. Sa pagpasok ng Vatican II na nanghikayat na gawin ang misa sa wikang katutubo (bernakular), iniambag ni Fr. Honti ang mga awiting mas madaling sabayan at isapuso ng bawat pilipinong katoliko. Malamang sa hindi, likha niya yaong mga unang awiting pangmisa natutunan natin sa ating mga nakakatanda (sa kaso ko, kay mama at sa dalawa kong lola).

Ilan sa mga huling engkwentro ko kay Fr. Honti ay doon sa tribute concert para sa kanya noong 2001. Palagay ko, sya yaong matandang minsang natatanaw ko sa lhs pag bandang tanghalian na noong mga panahong nakikigamit ako ng kanilang library (yun ay sa mga panahong 2004-2005). Gayunpaman at bagaman di ako sigurado, pinasalamatan ko sya sa aking thesis (kasama ni fr. mano) dahil naging malaking inspirasyon ang kanyang musika.

Nakakalungkot malaman kay rinapie at kuya rai, sj na si Father Honti pala ay umuwi na sa piling ng ating Panginoon kahapon.

Salamat po Panginoon, sa pagpapala Ninyo sa amin ng katulad ni Fr. Honti.

Requiescat in pacem.

Why Levinas?

2008-01-13T09:26:00.000+08:00

Finally, here’s something to write.

I must say that 60% of my philosophical life is spent with and for Emmanuel Levinas. Yes, I never grew tired of him. But my sojourn with this philosopher is like a teeny-bopper love story that ended with a shotgun marriage. I started out starstruck, making an undergrad thesis about him as an effective proponent of postmodernity. Seeing the nuances of being responsible, I tried solving the problem of justice, however through a scapegoat – the Holy Scriptures (A Levinasian Hermeneutics of the Anawim). Realizing that I could have just played around despite my conviction that I have proven enough points, I felt the need to go into the depths of the paradigm in order to directly confront its immanent problems and perhaps also to escape from the grandstanding tendencies of intellectual snobs who earn their degrees by discursive necrophilia (taken from Dr. Hornedo – love for the dead i.e., penchance to resurrect dead issues) or complicating life by a.) deceitfully giving élan vital to tribal axioms, b.) synthesizing concepts with highfaluting names as if they are just mixing chemicals in a beaker, or c.) putting up an ontological-epistemological-psychological discourse to what a beauty title contender could just summarize in two words, “WORLD PEACE”.

I’m doing a Levinasian dissertation for the following reasons: 1. his philosophy deserves to be treated in the most human sense, 2. to flex his paradigm to pastoral, developmental and formation concerns (teaching, religious formation, good governance –philosophers, I believe, can also handle these concerns), 3. to humble transcendental treatments to a concept that is supposed to be lived, 4. to show that this is best applied by people who may not have even thought of it (ontology can never create saints). My previous works were all ambitious, but were detached from what people should understand about him. Now I have a simpler task, but I’d like to come up with foreboding ethical challenges.

There are many things that should be cleared up in the philosophy of Levinas, not because he’s wrong but because he did not write anything clear. (Sorry…) There is a big difference in the "flavor" of his written works and his interviews. Levinas’ writings are difficult; interviews on the other hand are easy. The text is by itself a misnomer since it is so open to different contexts. Levinas employed phenomenology as his mode of inquiry, but he kind of avoided Heidegger and so tried hard to avoid the ontological-talk. For trying so hard, he was not able to avoid the Heideggerian mode of talking. His readers tried to liberate him from this mode, setting him and his paradigm at the intersection of every imaginable philosophical topic. As a result, he is then taken as a post-structuralist, even postmodern.

I think the easiest way to get what Levinas means is to seek for his immediate and candid, all of these i think are evident in his interviews. When he "talks" of his philosophy, he’s being human.

I find a need to understand Levinas in the most human sense that is possible, and that is to go back to the corporeality of the ethical encounter. I find the profundity of Levinas’ concept of responsibility when he talks of it in the simplest way – the human side of Levinas shows the human side of his ethics. And I think that’s how Levinas would like us to understand the meaning of responsibility.

My task then in my dissertation is not to parrot Levinas and more definitely not his minions, not even to glorify and synthesize concepts – it is to bring out what is most human in his ethics, to extend what Levinas could have discussed when asked casually of what he truly means and how he’d like responsibility to be predicated and absorbed by mankind. In my work, I’d like to bring out the following, which I think are truly Levinasian: a.) the humble acceptance that an “authentic corporeal encounter” exists, b.) the primordially-organic character of goodness, c.) the possibility of saintliness, d.) the possibility of giving something and perhaps even of all despite having less and e.) the possibility for human solidarity of out of a common orientation to goodness.

Just that, and I think what I’d like to do already fits for a dissertation. Simple, but human – I didn’t dream of big things in the first place, I just want my work to be meaningful.

So help me God.

greetings!

2007-12-23T07:17:00.000+08:00

let this be a treat to everyone.
peace on earth and love to mankind. =)

happy bday papa jesus!

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breaktime

2007-12-13T17:29:00.000+08:00

mahirap
huminto upang magpahaba ng
panahon
sa pag-ikot ng
ulo
paggalugad ng
alaala
at pagluha ng
mata.

yun lang naman.

balik na sa trabaho.

so true...

2007-11-19T14:58:00.000+08:00

I've learned that in truth, we don't want our loved ones to show their love for us in big ways. Swimming the widest oceans,crossing the deepest rivers, and climbing the highest mountains seem spectacular - but that's not what we really want. Deep in our hearts, we just want them home. With us.

Sometimes, God will operate that way. Suddenly, He decides not to answer our prayers, or fill our need, or heal our sickness, or give us the miracle we're asking for. (He's got reasons why He won't, and believe me - they're
pretty good ones.) So He'll just be there beside you, holding you in a hug.

Sharing your pain. Weeping as you weep. And that small comfort from Him will be more than enough to sustain
you. Because the most essential truth you already know.
.home.

- Bo Sanchez

it's okay to say no

2007-11-01T09:23:00.001+08:00

mantra for the new sem:

just say NO.

may i be reminded of this at all times, especially when the offer is so delectable and refusing is just hard. may i be reminded that there are a lot more things to prioritize, and that i have my own direction to lead.

i have decided, i know what to do, and i know what to say.

naku... help me God. Amen.

it's okay to say no

2007-11-01T09:23:00.000+08:00

mantra for the new sem:

just say NO.

i have decided, i know what to do, and i know what to say.

naku... help me God. Amen.

birthday post

2007-10-27T07:48:00.000+08:00

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view_article.php?article_id=97018

at 25...
im praying for my country

CFP for December 2007

2007-08-18T11:33:00.000+08:00

KRITIKE

An Online Journal of Philosophy

www.kritike.org

ISSN 1908-7330

CALL FOR PAPERS

December 2007 Issue

􀀁

KRITIKE is interested in publishing original articles across the whole range of

philosophical topics and schools of thought. Publishing in the journal is not

limited to academic philosophers and philosophy majors; we do encourage

contributors from disciplines other than Philosophy (Political Science, Literature,

Cultural Studies, Sociology, Communication, History, Linguistics, Law, Economics,

Natural Sciences, etc). The basic condition is that the paper should have a strong

philosophical bent to it.

KRITIKE is also accepting book reviews of books published within the years 2004-

2007 (2000 words maximum).

• Submissions may be in either English or Filipino with good punctuation,

grammar, and spelling.

• Submissions under 7000 words are favored.

• Please make sure that your text is prepared for blind review, meaning your

name and institutional affiliation should not appear in the body of your

paper. Please include a short abstract (200 words or less) of your paper and

ten (10) possible keywords.

• As much as possible, please use the Chicago style of citation.

• Please submit your text in 2.0 line spacing with 12 pts font size. Quotations

exceeding four lines should be indented and single-spaced.

• Please save your paper as either a Rich Text Format file (RTF) or a Microsoft

Word document (DOC).

• Please send your paper as an e-mail attachment to: editors@kritike.org

• Please do not forget to include your name, institutional affiliation, postal

address, and e-mail address in the body of your e-mail (not in the body of

your paper).

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KRITIKE

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be considered for inclusion in the December 2007 issue, then please

submit your paper on or before 31 October 2007.

mantra of the sem

2007-08-17T10:22:00.000+08:00

MABAIT ANG DIYOS.

just checking (myself)

2007-08-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

Q: why phd?
A: for manifold reasons: tenureship,
Q: will be tenured, why hurry up?
A: to be tenured sooner.

Q: what else?
A: for academic growth.
Q: why go fast?
A: because philosophy's not the final end.
Q: why at 25? to beat a record?
A: honestly, not so. i just want somebody to take over an old spot and use it more responsibly.
Q: suppose somebody after you will finish earlier. would you worry about that?
A: no. as long as the kid will promise that s/he would think not just for concepts but being. as long as s/he would promise not to waste his time with useless ruminations.

Q: why not "get a life"?
A: isn't this life enough?
Q: why not look for other things...?
A: ... and leave some unfinished things undone? ... and leave them at a point where i can see the possibilities of being successful at the end? i'll find time for the rest.

Q: why aim graduating with flying colors? why rush? you would get the degree anyway.
A: it had never been a childish qualm. i just want to make the most out of it because THIS IS ALL THAT I HAVE.

... i think i've found my answer.

Q: don't you have anything else to aim for?
A: i have, lots of them in fact. but to have 'em, i have to step up. besides, i hate unfinished businesses.

Q: what keeps you up then?
A: those who remind me that i'm doing the right things. they take over when i tend to forget. and of course, God's grace.

rawrrrr

2007-08-12T17:26:00.000+08:00

the tiger is growling again. (pwera usog.)

i had my first live UAAP game yesterday and it was a blast. yesterday i realized that im more of a thomasian if i've had the thrill of cheering, jumping and victoriously singing the ust hymn at the very site. grabe, ubusan ng boses, lahat ata ng badwords na alam ko lumabas. hehehe. nagkakaroon ng mas fuller meaning yung "...imbued with unending grace."

it is also nice to hear people airing their ruminations while being at the game. this is most applicable to the males. i remember a friend saying that it is in basketball where a man's heart is best seen. well, females do have their own emotional spurs to. it's just funny. these emotional spurs come in different forms:

1. quinito henson, is that you? feeling analysts.
2. pare, palitan mo na. humahabol sa drafting hehehe.
3. yes, Lord i believe. religious optimists. (hindi pa eto yung sa YJ)
4. tsk, ganun talaga. bilog ang bola baby. (ginagamit ito sa pag-eexplain sa mga GFs, sine-mode.. heheheh)5. gwapo mo dylan, woohoo! (pambabae eto)
... at marami pang iba.

but i think this is the best. i gotta laud this young boy for perking up the thomasian spirit. he's the YJ from our part of upper A. he started funny, but he influenced everybody. perhaps this is not exact, pero ang tindi talaga ng hirit, "alam kong malabo na eto, pero kelangan nating magcheer para mabuhayan sila. gawin natin yung part natin."
lupit ng fighting spirit. next time, dapat na syang buhatin (buzz to berto, weheheh).

tigers and thomasians, tandaan ang hitsura ng batang ito. pwedeng ipangalan ang pangalan ng bagong sports complex sa kanya. weheheh.

having this as my first live game, i thought of not watching again in case we lose. pero, nanalo eh. hehehe, palagay ko mauulit eto.

go tigers, rawrrr.

the days of our lives...

2007-08-09T07:50:00.000+08:00

When things were so simple.

Have a glimpse of how life was (2001-2003)
http://deanedward.multiply.com/photos/album/12/Mabuhay_nga_talaga_ang_AB_Philo

Thanks to mr. mejos for finding this (more barracks pics please). ^__~
I miss the gang. As in.

o kay gandang bungad

2007-07-21T17:18:00.000+08:00

naranasan mo na bang...

mawala at umasang magiging maayos ang lahat dahil sa iyong pagbibigay luwag...
... para malamang wala naman palang nagbago?
maging isang mapagparayang pusa para lang puslitan ng kalokohan ng mga mahal mong daga?

kung gayon, anong saysay...
a. ng aking pagmamalasakit...
b. ng aking pag-alis...
c. ng aking pagbalik
d. ng aking tahimik na pananatili.
** kung bale wala maski na ang aking punto. pagod na akong magalit, manumbat, magilitan ng ugat sa leeg, magtiis.

wala akong inaasahang para sa akin, pero nakakapagod lang sigurong umasa kahit man lang sa kapakanan ng iba.
nakakapagod lang talaga ang di pakinggan. ganito lang siguro yun.
tsk, masakit pa rin pala. akala ko wala na.

o whattacomeback. tsk tsk.

nietzsche...

2007-07-09T05:11:00.000+08:00

... during his heydays, 1864.

Para lang syang sacristan ng UST-AB Pax Romana, or Thomasian Volunteer ng Campus Ministry hehehe.
Hairlength policy-breakers, i suppose it's high-time to think twice. (Ganun eh. Hehehe.)

what if...

2007-07-06T19:49:00.000+08:00

... all dogs are like him?

I wouldnt have the phobia, i guess.

Buti pa ang aso. Hehehe.

Now Online: http://www.kritike.org

2007-07-05T18:16:00.000+08:00

"KRITIKE: An Online Journal of Philosophy" <editors@kritike.org> wrote:
  ANNOUNCEMENT
Launching of KRITIKE: An Online Journal of Philosophy
ISSN 1908-7330

KRITIKE’s editorial team would like to welcome you to the maiden
 edition of the journal. KRITIKE is an independent Filipino journal of
 philosophy.
The founding editorial board of the journal is composed of academics
 who are alumnae of the Faculty of Arts and Letters, University of Santo
 Tomas, Manila. KRITIKE seeks to bring together and publish the works of
 academic philosophers, graduate students of philosophy, and aspiring scholars
 who have strong philosophical inclinations in a scholarly journal with an
open-access format.

KRITIKE is our way of responding to the need for an academic forum
suitable for aspiring young academic philosophers in the country and to
the growing popularity of the internet as a legitimate medium of
 research.
The journal is grounded on the belief that the flow and dissemination
 of ideas or theories should be free. It is mainly for this reason that the
founding editors decided to launch an open-access journal where
 seasoned and aspiring scholars from all over the Philippines and the rest of the
world can share their critical opinions on philosophy and its impact on
society and our individual lives. We hope that the materials published
 by the journal will provoke the minds of the readers and will initiate
dialogue and healthy debate which, from a dialectical stance, are
 crucial in the development of Filipino philosophy.

Please go to:

http://www.kritke.org/ to visit our website

http://www.kritike.org/Current%20Issue.html to access the current issue

http://www.kritike.org/Call%20For%20Papers.html if you want to submit a
paper for consideration in the December issue of KRITIKE


KRITIKE VOLUME ONE NUMBER ONE (JUNE 2007)

Contents:

1. Editorial: Welcome to KRITIKE: An Online Journal of Philosophy
The Editor

2. Gender Jihad: Muslim Women, Islamic Jurisprudence, and Women’s
 Rights
Melanie P. Mejia

3. The Critical Role of Art: Adorno between Utopia and Dystopia
Paolo A. Bolaños

4. The Paradox of Ipseity and Difference: Derrida’s Deconstruction and
Logocentrism
Roland Theuas S. Pada

5. Banal and Implied Forms of Violence in Levinas’ Phenomenological
 Ethics
Fleurdeliz R. Altez

6. Against Alienation: Karol Wojtyla’s Theory of Participation
Dean Edward A. Mejos

7. Understanding Man as a Subject and a Person: A Wojtylan
 Personalistic
Interpretation of Human Being
Peter Emmanuel A. Mara

8. The Changing Image of God in Process Philosophy
Rev. Fr. Salavador P. Barcelona

We are also inviting you to submit your work for consideration in the
December issue of the journal. Please click the link for the guidelines
http://www.kritike.org/Call%20For%20Papers.html. We will send further
announcements regarding the submission due date shortly.

Again, welcome to KRITIKE!

Sincerely,
PAOLO A. BOLANOS
Editor
KRITIKE: An Online Journal of Philosophy
http://www.kritike.org
editors@kritike.org

swift shifts

2007-07-01T18:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not writing this to lecture, this time I want to share.

I just had a hell of an emotional ride this day. As I started the day right, I was happy -- clucked at the middle of the day (uhhh, frustration) -- cried a little then got back to my neutral working mode in the afternoon -- poured my heart out in prayer at the mass -- and ended the day smiling once more with a family dinner at KFC. (Don't get me wrong, di eto hormonal problem -- hehehe that's funny may mga taong wala nang masising iba para sa kanilang mga personalidad kundi ang sarili nilang katawan na parang wala silang kinalaman.)

Close friends know that I can work under (and gracefully get through) pressure, but definitely not under pretense. I have patience but when there are things around me that I know would fall short of what I think is right, I try my best not to use that prized-patience, i.e., i find a way to leave -- mag-away kayo dyan, basta ako dito tahimik - sayang pag naubos ang pasensya.

let's define terms:
patience - determinable of the time span i spend for a "sensible" job, i can do things quick (i know, im being overconfident), but really... i can spend a lifetime solving something that i find sooo important.
pretense - i can't fake, and with the transparent gut that i have i cant stand a day not saying anything about things that i find wrong. so instead of being over-blunt, i avoid ocassions of sin by not going too close.
get through - not in the sense that i'll simply get over it, but in the sense that this will teach me (and the others involved) lots of lessons in life and friendship. sure, sure, we'll make it through -- closer and way stronger (i've always believed in that dont worry)

It is just odd why I am choosing to persevere on something that I thought I wouldnt get through. It's funny finding myself going through emotional roller coaster rides while I shouldve just abandoned the ship months ago. I never got into something like this for so long, until today. Namiss ko ngumuyngoy. HOWEVER, after hours of sulking, I find myself in a perky-friendly mode trying to work things out for another project as if nothing's wrong. And since I never work under pretense, I promise that my being perky is not just because I have to put up a business mode. What's been pulling me through? Prayer, i suppose. Talk about God's grace, I think He's the main reason why nothing has been broken, and why nothing can't fall apart. Fr Nolan Que mentioned the magic words once more -- there's no turning back for things that you're being called for. And in my mind I was like, Oo na father, di na nga aalis eh, nagtitiis na nga eh. Yea, onga naman had it not been for God, this shouldve been done, over and out -- i must've lost a wonderful friendship if this isn't meant to 'stay'. It's part of the package, in His greater scheme of things.

Well I suppose there's nothing wrong about us. The problem lies with the circumstances and the people around. Di gawaing Kristiyano ang umalis.

For all of these, there are few things that I know. Emotions operate on an S-R basis. There are indeed reasons why we become happy, sad, angry, excited, raging, hesitant, complacent, etc. -- and all of them would be fleeting. Emotions are valuative by-products of what we perceive, and yes while not putting up the most important thing that we have as human beings -- the intellect.

Sure we're smart and wise. We'll get through. Surely. Why? Because out of the little of what we can do and exhaust, God's always here anyway.

AMEN?

of headaches, traumas and overloads

2007-06-27T21:02:00.000+08:00

A morning of hen-clucking
dripping with sweat as dropped to school by an aircon-less car
... plus the headache for riding on a vehicle that is reminiscent of the oven.
Coming to school earlier than class hours for a department meeting that ended nowhere
... and missing first class because of that.
Surprised by the abrupt coming of your research adviser...
whilethere's still no printed copy to submit.
Spending the entire day with the headache incurred in the morning.
Getting a text message that is reminiscent of a traumatic experience
and being misjudged as prude and biased because of that trauma (such a boomerang.)
Desperately seeking for notes that shouldve been accomplished had a reading material been returned on time.
and ugh, feeling guilty about bugging somebody who has to provide an alternative material (yea, this embarassment is a matter of pride -- admittedly; i never like the feeling of needing somebody -- probinsyana complex stikes again).

These events disturbed my self-sufficiency, and the confidence that I'm doing pretty much fine. These are small events that bothered this world that I am currently building. I even surprised myself when I told my friend to be more sensitive of what i've been through. By that I ask myself whether I just got wiser to know my limits (i even replied to her message, QUOTA NA. PROMISE. SENSITIBO. MAY TRAUMA), or a bit more childish since I obviously lost huge meters of patience. Tsk, tinusok ako sa tadyang. Medyo nag-pause ang mundo ko.

Issues. Sure they exist - in career, academic and more intimate aspects of life. And sometimes, these issues aren't really about you. Dream of a department, and be countered by conflicting egos. Wish good things for people who are important to you, and they won't listen -- or perhaps they will, but it's like you're not reliable or charismatic, cute, funny or "refreshing" enough to be listened to. It's just sad on how people pour their stuff while not liking the way you react about it, no matter how sincere you could be -- ano ako? sofa? unan? panyong pamahid ng luha? Ni nga di mo na inisip ang sarili mo, ikaw pa sasakit ang ulo -- at wala kang choice, dapat kang magreact. But God knows how I would be more than willing to conquer 'em. It is just sad most of the time, I can't -- not because I am not interested, but because I am being stopped to do so. Talk about il y a. Kamusta naman si Levinas?

In the meantime, I had the following stuff that made me feel better:

- two lectures that paid off.
- dr hornedo's words of wisdom (yes, i sat down, once again!)
- two bottles with gradschool kids (ulk, barkada ko na kayo ngayon mga anak! hahaha)

By this, I'm dizzier and ready to sleep. Tomorrow's a new day. Teaching will make me feel better.

Tuloy ang laban. Aja.

PPCRV's set of ten commandments

2007-05-14T05:50:00.000+08:00

10 COMMADMENTS FOR RESPONSIBLE VOTING

1.Thou shalt vote according to the dictate of your conscience.

2.Thou shalt respect the decision of others in choosing their candidates.

3.Thou shalt seek to know the moral integrity, capabilities and other personal qualities of the candidates you will for.

4.Thou shalt strive to understand the issues, platform and programs of candidates .

5.Thou shalt not sell your vote.

6.Thou shalt not vote for candidates using guns, goons, and gold.

7.Thou shalt not vote for candidates with records of graft and

corruption, and human rights violation.

8.Thou shalt not vote for candidates just because of utang na loob, personal appearance, popularity or pakikisama.

9.Thou shalt not vote for candidates living in immoral life.

10.Thou shalt put the welfare of the country above all else in choosing the candidate you will vote for.

PPCRV

Voter's Advocacy

2007-05-11T11:44:00.000+08:00

from the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Manila (RCAM) website:

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PRO-LIFE AND FAMILY VOTERS

* Promote and defend Life conception up to natural death. You shall not have false values that degrade the dignity of life and the welfare of the family, the basic unit of society.

* You shall not compromise your pro-life and pro-family principles in your dialogue with and in selecting candidates. You shall not bow down to immoral, corrupt and inept candidates and vote them to office. Our life, our family and our country are too precious to be entrusted to such people.

* You shall not take your vote in vain. You shall not sell it for a price or for money. You shall not vote without scrutinizing the candidate’s track record both in public and private life.

* You shall not vote for candidates that are in favor of legalizing absolute divorce and are themselves not faithful to their own marriage and family.

* You shall not vote for candidates that are for legalization of euthanasia or mercy killing and are not caring for the older persons and the sick.

* You shall not vote for candidates that are for legalization of abortion and any form of abortifacients. You shall not vote for candidates that advocate for reproductive rights and support contraceptive use and sterilization as a means for population control.

* You shall not vote for candidates that promote sex education that is focused on contraceptive use and emphasize “safe sex’ rather than moral values and developing virtues.

* You shall not vote for candidates that advocate same-sex unions and the legalization of same-sex marriage in the guise of anti-discrimination.

* You shall not vote candidates that sell our country’s future to foreign and elite interest, concerned with their vested interest to the destruction of our environment and natural resources, and disregard the plight of the poor.

* You shall not vote for candidates that are corrupt, steal from the government, that are insensitive to our people’s demand and opinion; that are undemocratic, unjust and unpatriotic in their governance and programs. True development is the upliftment of the lives of the least of our brethren and the enjoyment of justice, freedom and peace.

hmmm...

2007-05-10T10:59:00.000+08:00

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Your exact female opposite:
Genghis Khunt

Random Brutal Sex Master

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The False Messiah (DBLM), The Hornivore (RBSM), The Last Man on Earth (RBSD)

CONSIDER: The Loverboy (RGLM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

Graces...

2007-04-19T10:35:00.000+08:00

I never thought of getting an ace in the poetess' class. The most that I've had for an estimate was 1.5. Months back, I thought I must have waged an intellectual war with her. From November to February, I oftentimes end my saturday classes with momentary heartbreaks... (until I attend the evening mass, teehee!) Albeit my abrupt silence, thanks for recognizing that am trying (way) hard to get through the playful words. Thanks for my making my crude words of truth survive. Again, thanks for the flat one Ma'am Ophie.

And thanks to lit majors classmates for the wonderful friendship. (Ynna, Carla, Anderson, Ma'am Tet, Sir Benj, Sherwin, Burns, Eman, Kim, Essel, Daddy Ben, SIR JACK etc.) I love you all. See you around guys. =)

To Dr. Hornedo, just the same. Thanks for seeing my effort to dismiss my class in Arts and Letters early just to catch your lectures; and for appreciating my report, despite my being hyperventilated. Thanks for the ace. =)

The dream's still alive. Go for the gold na itu. (woohoo)

A PRIORI: from epistemology to ethics

2007-04-19T08:43:00.000+08:00

So i shall have my last strike of vice before I get back into writing. After this, I'll just have Levinas and Merleau-Ponty (and occasions of sporting activities, that's for certain).

A priori is a mode of knowing that comes before experience. It obviously came from the word prior which means before. My first serious encounter of the term was with Immanuel Kant in the Preface of the Critique of Pure Reason where he extended this epistemic tool into metaphysics. We know numbers in an a priori sense, there is an immediate and internal experience of "number two" if one says "two." One does not necessarily need two trees nor bananas to think of "two" -- since this number comes to the mind prior than its representations. It means to say that when we speak of a priori, we do not just speak of how one knows but what one knows. Phenomenologists took the term seriously, while referring immediately to a kind of being that exists prior to experience. Instead of focusing on traditional mind-mechanisms like anamnesis (where one draws out what is essentially "his", i.e., had been internalized), a priori becomes a mode of existence -- a permanent and independent one. A good example of this is how we know about the existence of our nape. It takes a mirror, and not a direct encounter/experience to realize that we have one. Another would be the things that we are deprived from when we are invincibly ignorant -- we may know, yet we do not have the chance to do so. A thing is an a priori insofar as it is -- regardless of the knower, or of the mode of experience. Max Scheler, on the other hand, would talk of a priori values or fixed virtues that we strive to comply with in order to put up an ethical life. This means to say that even if we live according to experience, and according to our preferred order of values, we are always called to make things right -- to comply with an a priori, which is in accordance to our nature as human beings.

Traditionally , an a priori becomes an a priori because of its being fixed -- it is there, and is bound to exist because of its telos - reason or rationale. This should be easy when thinking of plain concepts. Epistemic products, plain mind-objects that are cold and abstract would be amenable to the fixed character of the a priori. However, this becomes a big problem when talking of human experience.

Nailing a friendship into a lifetime kind, for example, is putting a relation into a stable and fixed state. We could even say that friends who had been struggling to be good and worthy for each other are meant to be friends - the relation must have been fated -- and despite all the hardships, an implicit sense of commitment can always be seen that makes the link PERMANENT. For the thought that friendship shall last forever, these two persons could always believe that the link shall stay same -- through thick and thin, no matter what happens and no matter what they will. For every error, there is forgiveness. For allowing the other to grow, there's permissiveness. For the holy name of respect, there's proximity -- distance and space, while having in mind that friends shall always remain friends, if they truly are friends. There is then an a priori sense of friendship. Proof to this are the following lines, "No matter what happens, we remain friends. Regardless if you care or not, I would still accept you." (implicit: do whatever you want, you're a friend to me) OR "You'll always be a friend, regardless of what you say. I shall never betray you anyway." (implicit: you're a friend to me even if i disappoint you). Now I think these lines serve as threats.

I move that we should not be complacent with these wonderful a prioris. Sure I won't betray, but by my own doing I can always be turned away from. I can't keep human relations, and in this given example a wonderful friendship, just on my own. Being tired, feeling wounded and useless for being not listened to are heavy responses to complacency, because "friendship will always yet just be there -- no matter what". While a priori refers to the "relation" -- it cannot totally cover human experience. I am keeping not a linkage of ideas but of lived persons. Unfaltering love and concern does not mean "just being around", it means keeping up, saving things and values not because it allays my heavy heart within this particular moment but because it is slowly creating me as a person who is up to what is good. I think we should be reminded that flexing a priori to human experience calls for a sort of maintenance. We keep things that are fixedly good through an active sense of commitment. We are now called again to weigh, to understand values as how they come. To clear, this is not objectification, but a proper way of understanding a person in way he makes himself.

By friendship, we understand that there are things that we can always nail as fixed, hail as a priori or even fated, yet we may easily lose. Even if thought of, feelings may always make it slither away. And with that, one has to be careful. At this stance, we are not just dealing with concepts nor of cold commitments. We deal with reality.

we shall shatter this artificial world

2007-04-02T02:07:00.000+08:00

The title of this entry originated from a part of Tracy's "note of thanks" (that's how we call our valedictory speech in UST). She'll be saying it proud later, but she and Amiel gave me a sneak preview of their speeches as early as two weeks ago.

Tracy had been told to change the word, "shatter" because it sounds heavy plus the fact that it could just appeal to the philosophical community. Amiel, perhaps for the inclusion of Fr. Ferriols, "ilundag mo beybe" safely passed the jurors. Probably, they found the phrase cute, but am not sure if everyone will have a grasp of what it truly means. Nonetheless, he was also adviced to reduce the metaphysical undertones of his address of petition (and that's the thomasian way of calling "salutation").

Amiel and Trace made highly existential speeches, close to being metaphysical but is very much meaningful. I am proud of the way these two (and the other 30ish) brilliant minds absorbed philosophy. As their welfare under my "loving" custody is coming to a technical close, I could but pray that they will carry on with their quest for meaning. I'll miss them sitting in my class, raising good questions -- nodding, even if I know that they're already half asleep (thanks for the support guys). Benjo reciting in class while converting everything to Lacan or Levinas. Kris Martus or Voltaire getting my microphone because I talk low and slow, and I need to be heard because we always talk along a "process". I shall miss them lurking around AB and at the eccle library, because of their research work, or in the case of the matronas -- sightseeing a few good philosophers. TGR and the boys' team complaining about the popularity of eccle's wonder twins. Perhaps not at YM, but I will surely miss these kids' actual company -- pulling me out of the Faculty room for some short talks and hearty laughs. Robert, dropping me off in front of sir bob, Rommel sharing his all-time hit jokes, JP harassing Peter and Peter talking of Wojtyla. The girls tracing friendster-dot-coms among themselves. The guys dreaming of becoming champions in basketball, and in engaging the lower years in their "philosophical" games. I shall miss everyone trying to have a grab of the microphone (during videoke sessions) with Tracy and Levi as the usual winners. The good talks, Kali's "new beginning" and many others.

I am so proud of what these kids have become, and Trace and Amiel's speeches will simply reveal. I am praying that they will always be spurred by the same interest for truth and meaning that they have right now. I am praying that their idealisms will never falter. I am so proud that they are able to recognize that philosophy is not but a rite of passage to another degree, to an occupation or so - but to a better self, and to better decisions in life. When requested to remove the term "shatter" from her speech, I advised Tracy to disobey and retain it, and she said that she also intends to do so. EVERYBODY DESERVES THAT HEAVY WORD. Having heard that, I was so happy -- this call for an authentic experience deserves to be heard. And yes, the call could only come from a philosopher -- an authentic philosopher.

True enough, we need to shatter accidents in order to arrive at meaning. And at times, we need to jump from our comfort zones. The things that used to numb our thoughtful sensibility to and for life, needs to annihilated. We are all confronted by a complicated world, the human challenge is to find ourselves in its midst and to conquer the world through decisions that we can die for. It is true that we dwell in the world, but it is also true that we have to act upon that same world. More than history and perhaps anything else, the most sovereign entity in this enterprise is man who grabs his life's steering wheel and determines the path he wishes to tread. This man is always entitled to his choice of path, but reason and the drive for authentic existence could just lead him to the truth and good -- and of course we talk not of those we carelessly dictate, but of the objective and authentic ones. To shatter, nonetheless, implies a kind of rebuilding. It is the moment where we identify ourselves apart from what we do not essentially need. In this stage, decisions can't be made just for pleasure, fun or perhaps because it's cute or gay. To shatter the artificial world means to choose for what is right and to die for it, to succumb into the difficulty, not because suffering makes an act noble, but because it is the only way to conquer the obstacles to an authentic life. It happens when we choose to give up the things that we could be entitled to, but are nonetheless unimportant to what we intend to become. To shatter means to sacrifice, for the sake of something higher. It means intentionally going beyond, because staying in the usual cage would only lead to a creation of endless and pointless circles. To shatter means to grab the chance of soaring high, not because what's up there is cute; but because through shattering, one becomes free.

This teacher, this intellectual midwife, or perhaps mother, is proud to hear her children speak of their thoughts and hearts that had been crystallized by four meaningful years of academic discipline. I am so proud, truly proud.

I have to warn you my beloved that life wouldn't be as easy as how it had been in college. (uhhm, had it been easy for you guys anyway) But you're fully-packed, very much loaded, it's just a matter of carrying on with the battle. With what you have right now, soar high and make us prouder. Continue your pilgrimage. Should you come back, you're forever welcome.

ye, this is so me... hehehe

2006-12-28T17:22:00.000+08:00

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.
You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.

You should major in:

Philosophy
Music
Theology
Art
History
Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

Holiday Chronicle

2006-12-26T16:06:00.000+08:00

my holiday chronicle

a blessed Christmas to everyone. =)

mapaglaro

2006-12-22T02:31:00.000+08:00

ang galaw ng emosyon ay parang pakikipag-isa ng lamang-tiyan sa estado ng iyong sikmura.

Inis sa umaga. May hangover ng kinaing mapait o ininom na alkohol sa gabi. At dahil nasa tiyan mo na yun mula pa nung gabi, wala ka na ring magagawa. Kaya...
Parang wala lang sa tanghali. Aha, nangyayari yan pag tinunaw ng pilit ang inis.
At kung di tunaw nang lubos, may tira-tira't mumong makikita. At dahil nga mapait ang mainis, mapipilitan kang ibuga.
Ayos, nabitawan na sa bibig.
Nyek, akala mo tapos na yun.. hindi pa.
Pagdating ng hapon, makukunsensya. Iisiping dapat siguro nilunok na lang yung dapat na isinuka (alala mo yung aso sa Alamat ng Gubat? parang ganun).
Dun mo malalamang di ka naman pala dapat napaitan.
Sa pahanong iyo'y humupa na ang tiyan -- pero susundan ito ng matinding kalam.

Hahanapin mo rin yung kinain mo nung una.
Pagsisisihan mo rin kung bakit mo pa ibinuga. (hehehe kasalanan mo rin pala yun)

Hahahah. Buhay nga naman.

Labo. (*Batok sa sarili)

p.s. - ngayon ko lang naalala na hyperacidic pala ako. hehehe. (*batok uli sa sarili)

song lyrics for 1pol1

2006-12-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

dear 1POL1,

i decided to cross-post 'em all so that no alibis would be made for not being able to get the lyrics needed for your homework.

instructions: get fifteen relations of ideas present in each song and their identify their types. write your answers on a one whole sheet of yellow paper.
submission date: 15 december 2006
extra announcement: we will have our quiz on the same date.

** this is cross-posted in my multiply, blogspot and friendster accounts for buffer.

KALEIDOSCOPE WORLD
by F. Magalona

So many faces, so many races
Different voices, different choices
Some are mad, while others laugh
Some live alone with no better half
Others grieve while others curse
And others mourn behind a big black hearse
Some are pure and some half-bred
Some are sober and some are wasted
Some are rich because of fate and
Ome are poor with no food on their plate
Some stand out while others blend
Some are fat and stout while some are thin
Some are friends and some are foes
Some have some while some have most

[chorus]
Every color and every hue
Is represented by me and you
Take a slide in the slope
Take a look in the kaleidoscope
Spinnin’ round, make it twirl
In this kaleidoscope world

Some are great and some are few
Others lie while some tell the truth
Some say poems and some do sing
Others sing through their guitar strings
Some know it all while some act dumb
Let the bassline strum to the bang of the drum
Some can swim while some will sink
And some will find their minds and think
Others walk while others run
You can’t talk peace and have a gun
Some are hurt and start to cry
Don’t ask me how don’t ask me why
Some are friends and some are foes
Some have some while some have most

[repeat chorus]

Kaleidoscope world
In this kaleidoscope world

IRONIC
by A. Morisette

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think
Chorus

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think
Repeat Chorus

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

It's a traffic jam when you're already late
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...
Repeat Chorus

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

poesis: MAGSULAT TAYO

2006-12-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

MAGSULAT TAYO

Para kay Ynna at sa bagong sidetrip sa LitCrit

26 November 2007 (sampung minuto)
Panuto para sa mga lito:

Hulihin ang pinakaakmang titik na nasa iyong puso.
Halukipkipin ang letra hanggang mapiga ang katas na tatagos sa ulo.
Tanungin ang kunsensya, isangguni sa lalim ng kaluluwa.
Sa panahong ito'y nagiging tinta ang katas.
Kapag pumayag bagaman hindi kumbinsido, isalpak sa papel.
Pabayaan sumandali, patuyuin...

Sambahin saka libakin.

27 November 2006 (tatlumpung minuto)
Panuto para sa mga bigo:

Galugarin ang nalunod na titik sa bukal ng luha, iligtas sa hapdi
at dagling pagkamanhid. Pagkatapos maihango sa maalat na tubig,
tanggalin ang nakatarak na tinik. Bayaang ibulalas ang kirot.
Ang salitang didikit ay magiging marikit, yaong alaala ng
nakaraang ubod ng sakit.
Pagkatapos sariwain ang katangahan, burahin

ang sinumpang bakas, maliban sa titik.

29 November 2006
Panuto para sa mga tanga (labinlimang minuto)

Saluhin ang tilamsik ng tinta sa papel hanggang sa
makabuo ng walang hanggang bilog.
Ulitin nang ulitin, gumuhit nang paulit-uli
nang kusang umulit at umulit.
Balikan sa wakas at tapusin sa simula.
Kapag marami nang bilog, kunin ang papel saka punitin.

Sumalo muli ng mga tilamsik.
(Wag mag-alala, may sukatan ang katangahan)

Panuto para sa mga pantas (sampung minuto)

Imulat ang tainga, inganga ang mata
palakarin ang kamay at ipansulat ang paa.
Basahin ang himig, awitin ang titik.
Lunukin ang papel at itarak ang pluma sa dibdib
managhoy sa daloy ng walang katapusang salita,
magalak sa sumisigwang diwa.

Kapag nabuo ang tulain, kusang ipapunit sa katabi.

now playing: tibak music

2006-11-24T12:43:00.000+08:00

para sa mga yumakap na sumugal sa walang katiyakan...
silang may mga pinakataimtim na panalangin
silang may pinakamalagkit na titig sa mga butuin...

Lea
Buklod

May ningning pa ang mga bituin
Nagbangon na sila't handa nang salubungin
Yaong mga mangingisdang nagpalaot sa magdamag
Katulad ng marami pang kabiyak naroroon si Lea, naghihintay

Kilala nya ang kilos ng dagat
Kilala niya ang mga awit ng habagat
Saksi ang mga alon sa wagas ng pagsuyo
At sa tuwing pagdating ng sinta
Panglaw sa puso'y dagling naglalaho

Wala mang katiyakan, muling pagsasama
Natutunan na niyang mahalin ang pangamba
Natutunan na niyang mahalin ang paghihintay
Wala mang katiyakan, Naroroon si Lea, naghihintay

May ningning pa ang mag bituin
Nagbanong na siya't handa nang salubungin
Ang mahal na asawang lagi't laging lumilisan
Ang tubig sa kanyang mga mata
Maaring luha ng tuwa o pagdurusa
Wala mang katiyakan...

poesis: SUDDEN COLDNESS

2006-11-19T10:44:00.000+08:00

putting LitCrit aside.

SUDDEN COLDNESS
18 November 2006

Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, not ever can those trees be bare;
Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal -- yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou has t not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair!
- Keats

Chills coming from the spine after it was poked
crawled to the breathing carcass until it reached the hollow heart.
The heart became ice-frozen on the surface till it cracked;
the water gushed forth -- they were tears that dropped deep
down the bosom, after the mighty-head shattered into pieces.

Water gushing from the heart gave more chills, for it is
now mixed with the sad breath of a dead chimney.
Now there's but black and cold to fill the space of what
was once bright and warm. Flame and chilled water are both too
difficult to hold: one would be too hot, the other would be too cold.

There's nothing to look at and nothing to hold dear.
For everything that is sudden will all be gone and done.

first time!

2006-11-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

this is the first time...

... i witnessed a rector being installed.
... i heard heard Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales' Mass in my academic battlegear.
... i heard "How lovely is Your dwelling place" in an academic-community mass in ust, sung by seminarian-cantors. (it is usually chanted at the Parish masses.)

November

2006-11-01T00:59:00.000+08:00

WORD GAME:

dread... not about horror and halloween stuff... start of the second sem... readjustments... da return op da comeback... tatay manding... installation... fr arceo... will there be new about ust?... research methods... 3philo... powerhouse roster (goodluck guys!)... leo garcia... ateneo... wednesday sked... hornedo... gradschool... dread... christmas... prior to that... thirteen... change... radical ones... unexpected turns... wouldve been nice... fear... christmas... sad... scrooge... should be happy... but it is not... tears... lost... brat... worth... expectations... disappointments... happy feet... traumas... dissertation... power... force... effort... will... truth... good... stay... go... no... sure... i dunno... faculty show... fun... scapegoats... paskuhan... friends... reunions... cold... gifts... family... Jesus' birthday... love... dread... fear... pray... wish... best... surrender... hold on... Lord!!!... Bacolod... convent... scapegoat... face... fears... brave... strong... alone... hope not... scared.

LORD...

*and I am listening to Waveback Wednesday... whatta... ?!